Finding friends for 10 yo girls

[Lushmetender]

My dd 10 is struggling to find friends. She is in a combined class of 70 but still has issues. I was secretly relieved she didn’t have to go to school to give her a break from the daily struggle to find someone to play with but now COVID19 is lifting, other people are starting to play out. She tried going to 3 house today to play. One girl she used to be friends with- every time she calls her mum says she is busy. The other two also made their excuses. She is in bits and I don’t know what to do.

I ask her brother and he says she is often alone. He says she has a bad rep for shouting at people ( generally if in her eyes they are being mean or trying to make her jealous l) which I think they do and apparently also for being not v sporty.

She goes to loads of clubs and still seems to struggle. I think she is on the autistic spectrum due to not picking up on social skills and a few other things. She is intelligent and talented in other areas, mainly singing. But I find it hard to know who to ask for play dates when mums keep saying no.

Do you think I should speak to mothers why they wontmplay? Should I move schools?

[sleepismysuperpower1]

bless her. what sort of clubs does she do? does she do any choirs/musical theatre clubs? It might help to try and focus on making friends with kids from clubs like that since they all have a common activity.

[Lushmetender]

Yes she does drama in the city and just got into a prestigious choir via and audition For September. She fills her lunchtimes with the clubs school has available- I think to avoid the isolation of playtimes but she needs friends at the weekends to play with and hang around with so she can feel what that is like. I think she is increasingly being marginalised in her school so I’m worried for her

[Time2change2]

I really feel for you OP it’s heart breaking when your DC is upset over friendships. Which year group is she in Y5?

[Lushmetender]

Y5 going into Y6. Two years to high school