Parenting fail: Electronics rule our home help!

[MsMeNz]

Firstly I understand it's myself and DH at fault here. I just need help resolving it and I guess I'm not totally alone in this. I have 3 DC but this relates to the older two boys 9 and 11.

They spend hours and hours gaming or watching YouTube mostly of other people gaming, like most of the day if left to it which I often do as I have to WFH and sort chores out etc it's the easier option.

Pre lockdown they had school, hobbies like football and swimming etc and when not.mid winter playing with friends on the street. But even then they still would spend every other moment on electronics but it was more balanced.

Anyway when I do kick them off it's like all their imagination has been shut down they just don't know what to do with themselves, we have puzzles and boardgames and pets and basketball hoop etc etc. But they just flop about moaning they are bored or trying to get on another electronic.

All punishments are centred on electronics too like, do this or no electronics etc it's like the ruling force of the family.

So from tomorrow we have all agreed a schedule and written it on the whiteboard. So my big question is what do those better parents than me kids do when not in electronics do they make their own fun or what fo they do?

Also has anyone successfully reversed this electronic addiction in their families? (Someone give me hope! Thank you and sorry for typos mad dog on me for huggles 😁

I was going to say sit down and agree a schedule, but you've already done that!

Now you have to stick to it.

In terms of other activities, in the initial screen free time I would try and do some stuff with them to make the transition easier and then once you have the new routine established you can start stepping back and leaving them to make their own fun.

So, for example, dust off the board games and puzzles and do them together. Once they've played them with you, next time they want to play they can do it with each other.

You could do a family quiz, everyone writes 10 questions. That way they're doing it independently, but it's your idea, they haven't had to think up something to do.

You could split dinner and desert in half, you and one DC do one course and DH and other DC do the other.

Show them how to make stop motion animation and then give them a project (you have all afternoon to make a movie and we'll watch it after dinner). So again, they can do it independently, but it's your idea and you're there at the beginning and the end to give structure to it.

You could form a family book club, either all read the same book and discuss or all read your own book and come together to share once a week. Having to read a book a week will keep them busy and good for them too.

You also need an 'I'm bored' jar. Lots of pieces of paper, each one has a job on it (hoover/dust/clean bathroom/do laundry etc). Everytime they say I'm bored, they can pick an activity from the jar or they can go an entertain themselves. You'll find they suddenly have loads to do!

My 8 and 10 year old are really enjoying listening to audio books while they colour or do lego. They will listen for hours. DS1 is currently listening to the Fellowship of the Ring And Ds2 is listening to the Hobbit. The library have a free audio boom app. Audible have some free audio books onAudible Stories - and i got a subscription to Audible too.

Here is a link to the free audible books stories.audible.com/discovery

Just remember it’s ok for them to be bored. Don’t feel the need to constantly suggest activities. They have games, they have outdoor space, they have access to books. Let them get bored before their imagination will finally kick in.

Put a parental control app on their devices, problem solved.
For android look for Family Link app by google, for apple use Family Sharing, both totally free. You can limit the total screen time for each day, or just for some app, block the phone at night (better one hour before bedtime), block the inappropriate stuff and monitoring what they do online.
It's recommended not more than one hour a day up to 12yo, 2hours a day up to 18yo including every screen (TV, tablet, PC...) so one hour on the phone could be still appropriate. Anyway this is a particular period, but as general rule I would definitively use the parental control with those restrictions.