Struggling with 11 year old DS

[Flippetydip]

DS (11) - eldest child of 2 - is becoming more and more difficult. We are having temper tantrums, refusal to engage with anything and he (and we) are just generally miserable.

He has always been an anxious child who worries about everything. He is not worried about Covid, but is desperate to get back to school. The work from is not really stretching him enough but we are trying to keep into some sort of routine.

Not really sure what I want from this thread, just some sort of solidarity to tell me I'm not alone.

My DS is same age but an only child, and up to a few weeks ago I could have written your post, then almost overnight he has changed attitude and approach, as I'm typing he is sat downstairs having got up early so he can do some of his work, in order to get his time on the X-Box, I've told him for years that if he gets things done he gets the free time, but up to now it's all been arguments and stamping feet.
I can't put my finger on anything specific to explain it, but maybe lots of little things, High school is looming, so we've been ordering uniform, he has a bank account now so has his own money to use, he has a bus pass, it's scary when I write it out like this how much he has changed recently, so not really advice I know but just saying there is hope.

You are not alone, I am finding it extremely difficult as a single parent (going through a divorce) with my 11 year old son. I have to drag him out of his room to do anything, and then whatever activity we do he moans ( when I say moan it is a constant drawn out moaning, that makes me want to rip his throat out !!). I dragged him on a bike ride the day before yesterday - not a particularly hard bike route - his chain came off his bike and he had a major 'tantrum'. He just ruined it, so I fixed his bike and turned around and came home. My friends are all out doing lovely things with their kids, and whilst I know it isn't all rosy, I feel like I am failing as a parent I just cannot seem to motivate my son at all. All he wants to do is go on his XBOX and stay in his room. I have allowed him to go out to meet with one friend to play football in the park ( as per covid rules - we are not meeting anyone else) so he is getting exercise. My mum said this is all normal, and to just let him carry on communicating with his friends on xbox. Anyway the point of all of this was to say you are not alone.