Please tell me I’m not alone dd12

[Foxton20]

My darling daughter who is 12 in February has turned evil over night.

She tells me she hates me, calls me an idiot, slams doors, shouts at me.

I’m at breaking point. She refuses to hand over her phone to me etc.

Dh is too much of a push over and barely tells her off or when she speaks to me like rubbish.

It’s mostly in the mornings, when she takes forever to get ready. This morning she was upstairs for 29 and only had taken her pj bottoms off. We wake her at 7 to leave for 8.20. Every morning we have to tell her to brush her teeth, put spray on 😩

I’m so upset. I feel like Iv lost control and all I do is shout. Would a parenting course help?

She finally handed her phone over this morning, left for school and slammed to door shut which shook the house practically. 5 mins later she came back and asked for her phone! Dh said no way and she slammed the door again.

I feel like a crap mum.

Oh mine's a horror too! You're doing the right thing though. You've got to draw a line or suddenly she'll be 14 and out all night and you'll have no control.

I was also like this....I suddenly grew out of it at 15. Almost overnight.

Mine is absolutely vile. Especially to her younger siblings. Really hoping in is a phase that she will grow out of soon

Read thread on teenagers section holding onto the rope.
I'd say your in early stages and have a long road ahead.
Phones are a big part off the problem.

From experience my top advice would be to NEVER react to her by behaving in the same way. Once you do you lose control of the situation and it escalates. You and dh need to form a calm, united team. Set rules and boundaries and both stick to them religiously, especially when it comes to phone use, bed times etc.

It's similar to dealing with toddlers really.
When she's being difficult, keep calm and stand off ish and find ways to be busy and not get dragged into conflict.
When she's being great, give praise and compliments and use the opportunity to talk about what's going in in her life. It's a hard time for girl friendships and difficulties in that area often reflect in behaviour at home.

The 'Get out of my life but first take me and Alex to town' is highly recommended on mumsnet. Also take a look at Josh Shipp videos on youtube, I devoured them when dd started being difficult