Hi, I will apologise in advance for my feeling sorry for myself message. My OH is away with work and no-one else knows how stressful all this has become.
My oldest DD is about to undergo counselling for anxiety, possible depression and social anxiety. A once shy but resilient 11 year old has turned into an anxious and very terrified young lady. Our GP has referred us to a counsellor and the first appointment is in a couple of weeks. GP also put us in touch with some online counsellors she can contact at any time and I have found out the details of the school counsellor who is happy to talk to her. She knows and I tell her I am here for her and will listen whenever she wants to talk. I am usually greeted with you can't help. She has not contacted any of the counsellors saying they won't help me. I always tell her how much I love her and how proud I am of her despite her being rude and dare I say it downright horrid sometimes. When I say I know you are going through a bad time but that is no excuse to be rude she just says 'you don't get that I have problems', to top it all she has asked me to tell her teachers that she can't talk in lessons as she says people laugh at her. She is upstairs crying now and screamed at me you haven't helped me with any of this! I am livid, upset and stressed. I don't know what more I can do?! I really do understand she is struggling and I've explored every angle I think I can to help (although she won't reach out to some of them). I just want to give her a hug and say we will get through this but she won't hug me or anyone (she has never been a hugger) she just pushes us away. My OH is away with work at the mo but when we spoke about what's going on with school and DD we thought we should really hold on about telling school DD has had her counselling assessment in a few weeks but as she is terrified to talk in lessons now what do I do?
To top it all it's my youngest DD birthday soon, she asked for a birthday sleepover with 2 friends. I checked with her several times who she wanted and how we can bring them back after her party, before I sent the message I checked again with her who she wanted over and how we can bring them back after her party for her sleepover. Parents accepted and the girls were looking forward to it. NOW she tells me she misunderstood and she doesn't want them over after her party. It's all been arranged though. Parents have made arrangements and I've booked them into trampolining in the afternoon, so my youngest DD has gone to bed in tears.
It's been an awful evening, I feel like a terrible mum and all 3 of us are in tears. I really don't know what to do for the best here. I don't want to drink but feel I need a wine!
I've stopped crying at least...helps to talk about it, if only my oldest dd would too.