Delicate situation: DD (11) found my vibrator

[Episcomama]

Firstly - I'm not a troll and have been a MN member for some time (Mexico holiday home, etc.)

I have an 11-year-old DD. We have a good relationship although of course now that the hormones are flowing her moods can be up and down.

Long story short - I have a vibrator in a discreet bag bag, which I keep in my bedside drawer. I noticed late last night that it was missing. This morning I took a look around her room (she was asleep in our bed) and found it tucked away under a blanket. I don't feel good about looking around her room but I wasn't sure if she'd be honest with me if I asked her.

I'm not sure how to address it. I certainly don't want to shame her for her curiosity (I was scanning Judy Blume and Jilly Cooper at that age, looking for the raunchy parts) but I am very disappointed that she would go through my drawers and take something. And I don't know how to address the fact that it's a sex toy!

Has anyone been in this situation? Please let me know how you handled it. Thanks.

Do you think she has been using it?
Seems an odd thing to do, to take it.

Have you had a sex talk with her? Or has she just done what they do in school?

Gosh taking it IS odd.

No idea how you should approach this. I would probably take it backand bin it and any other toys I had and never speak of it again

Bit strange. I think aside from the fact it's a sex toy I'd be having a word firstly about privacy. How come she was in your bed?

I don't think for a second that she's been using it. We have had the sex talk and she has lots of books about puberty, sex, etc. We are very open about, well, everything.
The kids will often "hang out" and watch a screen In our room - we have a particularly comfy bed. Obviously I'll be putting a stop to this.

Yes, I'll certainly be addressing privacy.

To clarify - it was under an old blanket on the floor of her closet; not in her bed.

Whatever about the sex talk, you need to discuss:
1 How inappropriate and rude it is to go snooping in other people's belongings.

1. Respecting people's personal boundaries.
2. Not taking stuff that doesn't belong to you.

Tbh at 11 she should know these things already.