How much do you spend on your 12 year old dd's clothes?

[twosoups1972]

Just had another row with dd over clothes.

She's into expensive sports-branded clothing eg Nike, Adidas etc. She hates shopping so buys mostly online, she chooses and I do the checking out, bearing in mind she likes to try a lot at home and send most of it back.

Just placed two big orders for her from Boohoo and Asos. A mixture of everyday clothing plus stuff for Halloween. Just found out one of the tops was £48, she has worn it and taken the label off it This is a short cropped Adidas top, completely over-priced.

What am I asking is - do you give your dd a clothing allowance and how much? The only money she gets is £15/month spending money (we pay for her phone too).

DD gets most of her clothes from Primark. £50 including shoes. She's 12.

If yours is into brands she needs to start shopping at outlets.

DS likes brands- mostly Adidas and north face- and I get them pre-owned off eBay for him as cannot justify paying the 'new' prices.

Thank you, problem with eBay is you can’t return. Will check out outlets.

DD lives in H&M, Primark Harry Potter clothes and the odd New Look item.

No way I would leave her ordering online on her own. If we can't go to the shops I do a pre-selection and she chooses what she likes.

My sister has 3 girls, she has a basic clothes budget and if the girls insist on brands they have to cough up the difference. So they learned fast to save their pocket money or do extra work at home for more cash.

Thank you, looks like I’ve been way too lax I didn’t mean to spoil her but I remember being that age and having lots of rows about clothes, I didn’t have any vaguely fashionable at all and I know clothes are important at that age.

My DD wears Primark clothes. It seems to be quite in at the moment that a lot of teens are wearing sports brands. I think they look awful

@Trustmeimamidwife I'm not overly keen on the sports look either but tbh I'm not too bothered if it's what dd wants to wear. It's just the cost I have an issue with!

What footwear do your dds wear? The (horrible) big clumpy Fila trainers are what they all wear here. I bought dd a pair about 9 months ago, I don't like them but she has worn them pretty much every non-school day.

DD gets bought about £400 of clothes and shoes per year (excluding uniform). We are a high income household, though, and I think we spend too much on her. (She doesn't demand it but I grew up poor and like to see her in nice things.)

I wouldn't spend £48 on a top for her, though.

DD started wanting expensive clothes at that age with lots of brand names. We started a system where she could earn money for tasks and then she buys a lot of clothes from that - she helps with things like painting rooms, gardening as we've got one house that needs renovating. Give her £10 an hour and she earns about £30 a week she helps and currently buys all her clothes. Since starting this she's gone off brands and she's also learnt about painting and gardening.

Lots of sports clothes here as well though she also wears a lot of my clothes too despite moaning about them.

@twosoups1972 - DD has a pair of Adidas trainers and a Kurt Geiger ballerina pair we got at TK Maxx. She also just got a pair of boots from Deichmann.

We are paying a lot for school shoes as she has a weird foot shape she inherited from me and we need to be careful to avoid blisters. Luckily everything else which is not worn for hours on end can be done cheaper.

I buy stuff online for DD (3 kids and other 2 are boys so shopping trips are stressful) sometimes I just buy it and return if she doesn’t like it (but I’m good at guessing what she’ll like) or sometimes I add them to the basket and she picks out what she likes. She’s quite a girly girl so not into the sports look, shop at H&M, New Look and River Island mostly, sometimes Gap, Next or Primark if we’re actually going to the shopping centre.
I wouldn’t be comfortable paying £40 for a top, max for one clothing item would probably be £22ish.

I have a list of every item in my kids wardrobe, so if DD wants a new top I know she already has 14 tops and she’ll have to buy it from her own money. But if she wants and actually needs a new jumper I’ll buy it. Tops and jumpers/jumper hoodies are separate categories.

I also supervise the trying on and am strict about not taking labels off until you’re sure you want to keep it.

dd is 12 and is happy to wear primark or New Look and any trainers that are comfortable. We have just bought her some black boots from New Look after much debate about how flat they weren't

ds is 16 and has always been in to brands. I really understood that he had a style and wanted to wear that style,and it mattered to him. But I could not and would not fork out full price for brand names.

We do have a really good outlet centre. I used to say - I will pay up to x price for a T-shirt and X price for trousers etc. If you want more, then you pay with birthday or christmas money, or you get the items for birthday or christmas.
He alos learnt to hit the sales, and that some places were a lot cheaper, so he could have 2-3 Superdry T-shirts and then one Jack Wills.
I was pretty kind with the top limit, he had £15 per T shirt, which was double what I was payign before he started liking brands. He had a limited but select wardrobe for ages, until he got a weekend job.
We compromised with things like socks, undies and PJs which are all supermarket brands.

I have always had to pay out a lot for shoes though as he has awkward feet, and very large. Fortunately he loves Nike trainers and we have an Nike outlet store.
I really can't understand why you object to girls in trainers, they are flat, comfortable, healthy and they can walk and run in them!

Give her £10 an hour and she earns about £30 a week
£10 per hour!!! and £30 per week! Ds is 16, works very hard at a weekend job and get £6 per hour which is more than minimum wage for that age. The best jobs that they all want are paying £8 an hour for 16 year olds. Talk about unrealistic expectations!

I shop for my 11 and 12 yo at Monkii. They are pretty style conscious. But I don’t buy them too much. I have 4 girls and they are all happy with hand me downs (dd3, in particular, is delighted when she is big enough to fit in to a siblings clothes. They also like branded sports leggings, but I get them cheap when Adidas has a sale. Dd11 recently got some £60 skate trainers while other dd has £30 Stan smiths. They are shorter though, and fit into youth size, which doesn’t have VAT. I will be buying them an outfit each for Christmas. And I go shopping in the sales. I’m trying not to let them get wound up in fast, cheap fashion; but it is a real challenge. Also, because the are shorter, jeans etc don’t need to be replaced every year.

Thank you, this is really helpful. I have no idea where dd gets her expensive tastes from. My older two dds (16 and 18) roll their eyes at the things she wants, they were not like that at 12 and still aren’t.

Anyway I found the label from the Adidas top and returned it. Bit naughty I know but she’d only worn it for a few hours.

She went shopping with friends a while ago and she spent £36 on overpriced branded skincare She used her bank card where she has quite a bit of money (birthdays, Xmas etc). However I don’t want her to fritter it away so I’ve opened a savings account for her, will transfer most of the money and leave her with a smaller amount. She’ll get her £15/month from us and that’s it.

DD's get jeans from H&M's or new Look and then it's eBay or Primark or Outlets for tops. My 13 yr old doesn't even choose alone - apart from the one time she was allowed to treat herself in town and her budget was £15.

My dd is happy enough with H&M. I think you've made a rod for your own back there!

How have I @RedSheep73? I’m not exactly encouraging it.

If you are letting her choose clothes you think are overpriced, and paying for them, then you are not exactly discouraging it!

As I said, I had been happy up to now to do a big order and let her try on at home. Most is sent back anyway. It was just this time she caught me out with the over-priced top. Anyway have managed to return that one now. And I won't be taking my eye off the ball again!