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Tricky tween hides my phone when I confiscate hers please help

36 replies

melmorg1 · 15/10/2019 23:16

My 11 year old daughter is failing at the moment in many levels eg self care, bedroom tidiness, getting up in the morning, planing her homework etc etc. I believe that her access to her mobile phone isn’t helping as she’s too engrossed. So I attempted to bring in a screen time limit on the iPhone. I think she has somehow managed to hack it so that TikTok YouTube etc are always available. So instead I attempted this weekend to bring in a physical restriction instead so that she hands me the phone and I return it to her each day when I’m happy she has everything in order. Seemed reasonable to me. She refused. And when I took it off her she just took mine and switched it off and hid it. And has since refused to give it back laying all kinds of sass on me. How can I handle this please? It’s causing so many arguments.

OP posts:

Wildorchidz · 16/10/2019 03:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

everytimerickysayscuntIlaugh · 16/10/2019 03:43

So report the thread then.


Fournearlyfive · 16/10/2019 07:10

Do you not think it’s interesting that the op posts a single post and doesn’t respond at all??

She posted late at night and shes had 2-4 days of battles with an 11 going on 15 year old. Don't know about you but I would be shattered.


peachypetite · 16/10/2019 07:18

Agree that if you don’t make a stand now and make her realise you’re the adult and she’s the child you are going to have her walking all over you during her teens. She’s 11, absolutely doesn’t need a smartphone. The way she’s behaving is only proving that she’s not ready for one.


Wildorchidz · 16/10/2019 08:56


I did.


melmorg1 · 17/10/2019 22:21

Thank you everyone. I totally agree. I must have been so soft with her to date for her to think she can treat me like this. Thing is she’s bigger and stronger than me now and she knows it. I got my phone back off her the following day after big arguments. I’ve since removed hers again and she hasn’t taken mine this time. She’s a real challenge.

OP posts:

Girliefriendlikescake · 17/10/2019 22:57

She's 11 and clearly not mature enough for a phone.

A challenge is one word for her...


BuildBuildings · 17/10/2019 23:02

Yeah she isnt mature enough for a phone!


Raspberrytruffle · 17/10/2019 23:07

How about a good old fashioned smack on the arse? Theres more kids growing up than ever fearless towards adults with absolutely no respect for anyone they then grow up to be trouble making adults, I'm not talking hurting or beating I'm saying a tap on her bum enough to give the little madam the shock she needs. Shes the same age as my dd and I'm shocked at your dd attitude it's quite scary, can you imagine what she will be like when shes sn adult Shock


Fournearlyfive · 18/10/2019 11:39

Glad you have your phone back OP. Don't worry that you have been soft she'll just be flexing her muscles. Just make sure you are firm and don't give her the phone back and come down hard on any more displays of disrespect.

I remember being 11 (and still now apologise to my mum). I had gone through puberty already and was at high school and thought I was grown. They are still children but are trying so hard to act older and hormones don't help matters. It's a tricky age.


Clangus00 · 18/10/2019 11:46

@Raspberrytruffle if the OP is in Scotland, that’s illegal. I would do it too though

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