My dd11 is embarrassed of me.

10 replies

Darksideofthemoon19 · 12/09/2019 14:51

Dd went on her 1st trip today of year 7. We had to drop them off in a car park and wait for the buses. There was around 150 students and their mums/dads. As soon as we got out the car she told me she wanted me to leave. I’m not going to lie but I was really upset. Everyone else had their parents! I refused 🙈 and met her new friends and their parents.

I think it’s either that I’m young, (I’m just turned 29) or that I’m fat (size 18).

On top of the embarrassment she doesn’t speak to me at all, or tell me anything! All her friends seem so close to their mums and Iv tried everything to make Dd feel close to me. We do face masks, shopping, binge watching films etc.

I feel really upset (and hormonal!)

OP posts:

youreajetalltheway · 12/09/2019 15:14

Awww don't be hard on yourself, I'm sure it's none of those reasons, in fact a young mum is a positive thing to kids! I bet she's just a bit more mature than the others, they will also be embarrassed of their parents shortly, it's just par for the course.

Marinetta · 12/09/2019 19:11

I was exactly like this as a teenager. My parents always had to stay in the car, never met my friends, I never went on days out with them etc. It doesn't happen to every child but I think its a fairly common thing in the teenage years. You could try talking to her about it to see if there is a specific reason why she doesn't want to be seen with you but I doubt you'll get much out of her.
I very much doubt it's an age thing though. My parents were 40 when I was 11 and I thought they were absolutely ancient and uncool compared to my friends who had parents in their mid 30s. Being younger is definitely a good thing in the eyes of the teenagers.

malificent7 · 15/09/2019 11:49

This is normal...i won't go near dds school as i am sooo cringe!. It's not personal...she still loves u but she wants to fit in and be a grown up girl.

Casander · 15/09/2019 11:53

Completely normal, DS14 won't associate with me in public at all because I'm 'embarrassing' Although I also remember making my poor DM drop me off round the corner at school so I wasn't seen with her! I did grow out of it lol

Northernsoullover · 15/09/2019 11:57

Oh bless you. From the age of 11 my eldest wouldnt acknowledge me in public. He still won't even though he's 16. My youngest now 14 will kiss me in front of his mates. It really isn't you. I play along with him now. His comfort comes first.

MrsRufusdog789 · 15/09/2019 12:01

It's more about her self consciousness than being ashamed of you .
You were right to stay and meet her other friends and their parents though . Don't reinforce her shyness and it'll pass .

Branleuse · 15/09/2019 12:04

I do think its normal, but I dont think you always have to tolerate them being rude about it.

My dc sometimes pull this one on me, and ask me to stay back. I have told them in the past that if im too embarrassing to even exist in their presence, then im too embarrassing to approach for money or lifts. I sometimes remind them that parents are human too with feelings just like them

1066vegan · 15/09/2019 12:31

Perfectly normal. I remember being embarrassed by my parents as a teenager although looking back now I have no idea what was so embarrassing.

It's just nature's way of preparing our dc to become independent and move away from us.

My dd's just turned 17 so I'm hoping that's it's only a couple of years before we start to come out the other side if this.

At the moment she enjoys my company in smalk doses, talks to me about things that I could never gave talked about with my mum and will come out for the day/go away for a couple of days with me - but only if there's very little chance of seeing anyone she knows.

megletthesecond · 17/09/2019 22:31

Normal.
When I walk to work into work early with 12yr old DS I'm under strict instructions to not talk to him if he sees other kids from his school. He texts me begging me not to walk too close to him as we're walking along .

reluctantbrit · 18/09/2019 21:45

DD had a camping trip with Y7 last July. We drove her towards an alley way she has to take to walk to school. We were more than prepared to help her dragging stuff for 3 days towards the school gate - she forbid us! She just grabbed her gear and walked on.

In Y6 I got all these lovely pictures of DD and her friends with all their trip gear in front of the busses. In Y7 I am allowed to drive her and don't leave the car.

Same on Scout trips, if parents wouldn't be expected to help packing she would send us away as soon as her gear hits the ground.

I do know exactly one pair of parents, purely because DD often gets a lift when she goes over to meet her friend. I don't even know the name of the parents or the surnames of the girls.

Flip