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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Dd saying she’s being bullied

6 replies

Lushmetender · 26/08/2019 21:43

My dd is 9 and has complained she’s not really had a true friend for a couple of years. Her teachers from 2 years ago said she was always on her own and no one would partner with her. She’s got on with It and joined choir and religious clubs but still to no avail. She’s quite determined and vocal so is an easy target. Last year wasn’t much better but this year already it’s started. She says girls are stopping her from getting her outdoor shoes on ( to which she had to hide her shoes), or they play games on her as if they’re her friend but distract her and so horrible things in what they say or do. Kids see her at school bus and roll their eyes and walk off when she tries to speak to them. We had a play date to trampoline park in summer and the girl just slagged her off in the car on the way home when she wasn’t there. It’s supppsed to be a Rights respecting school but she’s had 2 years of this. I’d hoped it would subside but I’m worried now she’s preteen. She is starting to cry at night wondering why she can’t get a good friend. Anyone gone through this? When I ask her whose doing it she says most girls in her class. I hate it. Thinking of going to school and I don’t know the mother’s enough to have an informal chat about it. It seems to Be the popular achieving girls who are making her life misery ie the ones who are great at sport or dance and will probably be chosen as Dux etc.

OP posts:
AdelaideK · 26/08/2019 21:45

Poor girl. You definitely need to speak to school. Don't speak to the other parents.

CountFosco · 11/09/2019 05:41

I would agree, speak to the school not the other parents. A friend tried speaking to some of the parents when her DD had issues and there was just a flat refusal to believe their DD was behaving badly. I'd be very concerned the girls are being so blatent about how they feel about her in front of adults, TBH I'd have come down on any bitchiness (about anyone, not just my child) during a playdate like a ton of bricks. They need to be taught to be considerate of others.

Lushmetender · 14/09/2019 10:32

Afraid she’s not feeling any better about herself. She was in tears till 1 am saying she just wished it would stop (the bullying) yet it’s hard for her to talk about it or be specific about what is happening. I tried to book a time with the teacher but we couldn’t make the time she said. School office said she’d call back with another time but didn’t. Dd is claiming it’s everyone and feels no one wants her in the class.
Bumped into the girl I mentioned above and she said her dd was being bullied but she definitely has a group of friends she can rely on. My dd says she’s on her own all the time (her other teachers have said in the past she’s on her own).

OP posts:
TeenPlusTwenties · 14/09/2019 15:40

move schools

Lushmetender · 17/09/2019 09:16

I hear moving schools is not always the answer. I live in a small town so short of sending to private school which I can’t afford I can’t do that. We wrote a note to the teacher re her shoes so now they resort to a hiding place for indoor shoes that only her and the teacher know about. Not right. So much for rights respecting schools.

OP posts:
TeenPlusTwenties · 17/09/2019 10:05

The reason I said move schools is this seems to have been sustained over a long period of time and the school appear to be unable/unwilling to sort it out.

I would in that case seriously look into the practicality of another school, how far away are the next ones, could you get there? Even if they are 'full' a documented case of sustained bullying not being resolved should I would think work in your favour in an appeal.

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