DD (10) has stopped sleeping

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Dd(10) has not been sleeping properly for a week. She comes to see us throughout the night (every hour or so) She’s just come to see me at 6.30 this morning saying she’s not slept at all last night.

She was in tears last night saying she feels so guilty when she sees how tired we are. She says nothing bad has happened when questioned. But she’s afraid to “die in the night”. She’s had a fear of death for years but not to this extent.

She has a bedtime routine. She’s a big reader so evenings are spent reading. She’s been at tennis camp this week so lots of physical activity and not much tv/video games. Obviously no caffeinated drinks.

I’m really worried (and tired!) Do I take her to the gp? What else would you recommend?

my dd had a fear of death, and whilst it didn't stop her sleeping at night she became extremely clingy to me. I took her to a play therapist who worked wonders.

I think it is normal between 10-14 to have short periods of weeks/months when they struggle to sleep, puberty and growing minds and more awareness keep them awake. I remember the same when I was around those ages.

I always brought ds into our bed if he felt he needed someone nearby (dh slept in spare room), then everyone got some sleep. It wont last forever.

Alternatively, tell her not to come through as you cant do anything and to just try to get back to sleep , I couldn't because that's what my parents did and I still remember those long nights.

I had this at about the same age - I was utterly terrified that me or my mum was going to drop dead. I ended up sleeping on the floor (on a mattress) of my mum’s room for a year or so. I eventually got over it and went back to my own room when I was ready. My mum was a single mum which probably made this solution a bit easier.

I’d let her sleep in with you for a while. Reassurance that you are there might help- it won’t go on for ever.

We are currently having the same with ds2 who is 11. I thought he might be anxious with the move to 'big school' however hormones certainly have a lot to answer for so perhaps it is that! Another phase to work through!!!!

Wow - thank you so much for all your replies. I had forgotten about phases. But yes, it’s a phase, I can completely see this now. We’ve gone away for the weekend, sharing a hotel room and i hope it will help, even if only temporarily. Agree with not letting her deal with it herself in her room. Thank you again.

I had this. Probably from when I was about 8, on and off I think until I was living with my (now) DH aged 23! It was definitely linked to anxiety. I used to have to listen to an audiobook (on cassette!) to distract me from existential dread. As I got older, it became watching something on tv or my laptop. On reflection it became a really awful habit but it might work shorter term?