My DD is overweight!

[Dilraj68]

So I have 4 children, 3 girls who are 21,20 & 10. My son is 17. DD10 was a surprise baby and pampered (my fault ) but now I've realised what a mistake I've made with her eating habits. She's grown up around older kids and as such has been having adult portions for most of her early life.

I'm so upset and full of guilt at allowing this to happen and I don't know how to stop her eating when bored as this is what she does mostly.

She gets the name calling and isolation at school and it's heartbreaking when she gets singled out. I've done as much as I can with her portions at meal times, a good healthy packed lunch and smaller portions than us when we're eating together. She spends time in the garden, is active with her skipping rope and drinks plenty of water to curb her appetite.

It's got to the stage where clothes don't fit her. She's a tallish aged 10 and now I'm having to buy her basic clothing for adults in a small or medium size. This horrifies me and really stresses me. I feel so bad for her, her uniforms don't fit so she wears those made for teenagers.

I'm a single mum with not much support, her dad is a bit stocky and he thinks DD is healthy and strong! I dread to think how her life will pan out in high school next year.

Now the summer holidays have started, I've vowed to take her to the park regularly and she loves swimming.

Would welcome any advice as this is really upsetting me. She knows how serious this is and she lashes out a lot.

Please help.

I think you’re already doing all the right things. Smaller portions, plenty of exercise and lots of water. It’s difficult for anyone to break eating habits and especially when she’s watching older siblings eating bigger portions etc.
Keep her busy over the summer...involve her in making lunch/dinner etc and trying out new healthy recipes. I find my DC are more likely to eat things they’ve helped prepare.

Have you tried shops that sell teen clothing such as New Look? I suspect that bigger teen sizes correlate to small adult ones so an adult size 6 can fit into age 14 or whatever. My observation was that some healthy 10/11 year olds need adult clothing because their hips and boobs have appeared and kids clothes assume a straight up and down shape. Could this be the case?

My dd is tall and skinny (sorry) and started to wear the odd adult piece of clothing at age 10/11.

Cut right back on wheat products and baked goods and the weight will come off. I had to do this with ds when he put on weight eating too many croissants and sandwiches.
Include lots of fruit and veg and draw up a plan with her on how youre going to get your 5 fruit and veg every day.
I found this helpful when I discussed healthy diets with ds -

www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/the-eatwell-guide/

You have to be good at a sport to enjoy it imv so swimming more than once a week and tennis/running?? Can older siblings go with her to give her practice?

Thank you so much for your speedy responses. I'm going to get the fruit bowl stocked every now and then and maybe a veggie smoothie once a week.

As for clothing is I've had to buy a nice summer frock yesterday from Primark in a size 14! Don't know whether it's their sizing or what but different high Street clothes have a different sizing guide.

Off to the park later today but please keep those handy tips and advice coming in, thank you guys x

Sounds like you are doing the right things, getting her properly active is key at her age, but also watch for rewarding/compensating with food. Snacks can be the problem for many so keep an eye on that. How about activities together? Take up hiking, parkrun, offer to walk older neighbours dogs etc. She will be growing more so as long as you keep vigilant she will be ok

Sounds like both of you are really getting this under control already
Healthy eating and if snacks are needed healthy options of fruit and veg
Swimming is a great activity and enjoyable through the summer. Even when you go out and drive park further away from the door so it's a bit more of a walk.

Lots of water and if that gets boring the fruit infusion bottles are a good way

Lidl do children's veg which is smaller and snack size and more appealing as you don't need to cut it up as much and easy for her to grab

Less sugar. Smaller portions and more exercise- it sounds like you're already on the right path

Home exercise that's fun could be a hula hoop? Often seen as fun over exercise and they are really good for exercise

As a youngster I was overweight.
My mum sat down with me and helped me design a schedule/ meal plan.
Maybe not very exciting for kids nowadays but I found it fun deciding on the meals, going for the shopping and having control.
I'd also challenge myself and bought a stopwatch and would get my friends involved timing ourselves running around the garden and seeing who could improve most on their times.

Wow, you lot are fantastic. My first post here and I'm overwhelmed with support and good advice. Thank you so much x

You've already had some great advice here OP. I might add something regarding the boredom eating too, I'm a classic boredom eater as aside from having tonnes of fruit and veg in hand so that if I do snack, I snack on the good things, I also took up a hobby that occupies my hands for when boredom strikes.

I crochet, cross stitch, sew and knit. Get her to do something that will take up some mental space and occupy her hands so that when she isn't being active outdoors she isn't sitting thinking about food and craving treats. I can crochet for hours on an evening and not reach for a snack once but if I'm not occupied I'll be peckish all evening.

My ds7 is a bit bigger than I'd like. He's around 50 percentile for height & weight so no real problem but my other 2 are very slim (7th & 16th percentile) so he looks big compared to them. He has noticable chub on his tummy. He also has wider shoulders, bigger feet etc so some is just his build.

Whilst I'm not putting him on a diet or anything I am making sure he doesn't eat out of boredom (I do it & I'm overweight).

I've got a tub of carrot & cucumber sticks in the fridge & the fruit bowl has plenty of apples, peaches etc which are free for all.

However, crisps & biscuits are out of bounds but they can have some with lunch or if we go for a picnic etc. They're not hidden because I want them to learn & understand about controlling their own intake & making good choices (it's a work in progress! )

I will just state that I have not said a single word to him about this. We talk about 5 a day etc & we're all vegetarian so we do discuss where our nutritian comes from etc.

I think what you're doing sounds great, portion sizes are so easy to overdo.

I've done as much as I can with her portions at meal times, a good healthy packed lunch and smaller portions than us when we're eating together.

What does “as much as I can” mean in practice? And how are the portions for the whole family - do any of you adults and your older children carry any excess weight?
What sort of things make up a typical day’s eating?

It really is 80% diet and it’s hard to adjust but if you can tackle this slowly but steadily now hopefully it will help as she heads for puberty.

Getting her active is great and so good for you but you cannot exercise off a bad diet. Food intake is the key thing to focus on.

In my experience, most overweight people are quite carbohydrate sensitive. So perhaps rather than reducing portion size, you could sneakily reduce carbs.

I love pp’s suggestion of walking neighbours dogs, kids love doing that and it makes a walk much more fun. And a hobby to do indoors to distract her from boredom eating is a great idea too.
Have you seen the GP or practice nurse? It might be an idea as they will be able to help.

Could she join the local swimming club. DD swims 5 x 1 hour sessions for £8 a week so much cheaper than the 2 of us going just once a week. Its hard work but shell get used to it after a few weeks and it will set her up with a sport she can continue into adulthood.

Can you get her involved in choosing meals and cooking together?

My dd is 10 and wears an adult size 8 or 13-14 school uniform. She's very tall for her age and is in the early stages of puberty. Last year she was definitely overweight and unhappy about it but she's less so now due to me watching what she eats. It does take time as you don't want to put her on a crash diet!

I would ask is she actually hugely overweight or just chubby overweight? This is a bit of a personal question but would adults be shocked at her weight or is it just teasing from kids because she's different? I think if you truly believe she has a huge weight problem then perhaps involving a nutritionist or something might help you but if she's more tall, stocky with some obvious chubby bits then carry on as you are!

My 10 year old has had chubby bits since she was a toddler, she never really lost her thigh rolls til she was 8!! But she has always eaten very similar to my other kids. And like your dh says about your daughter mine is very strong. She rode 22 miles in one go last weekend on her bike!! So she IS strong, and is coming to terms with her body being different to everyone else's! I hope your daughter can find happiness in her self too.

You’ve recognised that you need to make changes which is great so don’t feel guilty. I think to start off you should just focus on changing habits - which you’re already doing - rather than focusing on the weight loss itself. Once your DD has gotten used to the changes in food and portion sizes and is in the habit of doing lots of regular physical activity, then you can make other smaller changes to help her lose weight. Good luck!

You're doing all the right things.

Try not to stress about the size 14 in Primark,my very skinny 28 inch waist ds needed a 34 trousers in there once You can pick up 2 of the same size item and they are completely different sizes. They just stick any old label on when making up orders sometimes.