Girls - Sleeping in same bed as seperate dad's

[CF43]

This is not my problem, and I really do have a friend that I am asking about. I only have a son and not a girl but I know my thoughts on the subject but feel i need some advice on this.

My friend has a girl she will be 9 in september, her and the girls father split up years ago and have an arrangement where the girl sleeps over at her dad a couple of nights a week. The problem is that she doesn't have her own space, she sleeps in the same double bed as him, now I know it might have been okay when she was little but now I am thinking that this isn't right, she's not so little and growing up and developing.

The mother has tried (although maybe not very hard) to insist that she has her own bed, even if it is a double bunk bed or something but the dad just says he will think about it.

I don't know it's not my place to say anything, but does anyone else think that this is wrong now and that the mum should insist she has her own space.

She's 9 and it's her bloody father! There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, unless the child isn't comfortable with it. I bet she loves being close to her dad.

I think she needs personal space and privacy. 9 becomes 10 becomes 11 etc etc and he needs to think about some way of her having her own space to sleep.

I know the girl has said to her mum that she no longer likes sleeping in the same bed, but her dad won't listen.

I really don't have a problem with it when they are younger but coming up for 9 and hormones and body change, now should be the time for personal space. I had my first period at 10 so it won't be long before she's not a little girl anymore. And he is a big man, and I mean at least 30 stone so there isn't much room in a double bed i would think at the best of times.

Oh right. 30 stone man is back...

As she has said she doesn't like sleeping in the same bed as her father, she shouldn't have to. I don't think there is anything dodgy about it but she has said she doesn't want to any more and that must be respected.

Could he not put a small single bed or a fold up one in his room for her to use? I think that would be the best thing.

When she reaches puberty she won't want to share a room with him, never mind the bed but, presumably, at that stage she'll have the choice whether or not to stay the night.

Serenadoudy: For safety I can't show you a picture but I can assure you the man is huge. Which just makes it worse.

Haha as if I asked you to show me a picture.

Don't worry, I reported your post as soon as 30 stone man appeared. I remember him from various threads in the past.

excuse me what are you on about?

30st is seriously obese. My husband is 6'3" and weighs about 23st and is huge, can't imagine what he would be like at 30st.

I'm surprised there's any room in your ex's bed.

He's not my ex, it is not my daughter. I have a son.

I have a geninue concern for someone else, as a friend to them I don't want to go down the official route of reporting but want to give them some advice on the situation.

I know when people say they have a friend they sometimes mean themselves but 100 percent on this occassion it is not me.

Well. This is erm.....

Fair enough.
The best advice you could give would be to suggest getting a fold up bed to put in his room for the girl to sleep in.

I don't want to go down the official route of reporting

To whom and for what?

Just don't give him a lift, it will be murder on your suspension.

Perhaps he snores, it would not be a restful nights sleep in that case.

@OpenYourEyes 😂

@CF43 you're being ridiculous to consider 'reporting' this. It's her dad. Not every man is a raping paedophile.

But for regular contact, I do think that he should be looking to get her some space.