School night sleepover AIBU?

[user27495824]

To say no to this? My DD is in year 7. I know it's nearly the end of term but I don't want to set a precedent. Only just been asked now for tomorrow and DD is absolutely furious I've said no.

YANBU. No sleepovers ever when school is the next day even when it's end of term. Only exception would be some kind of family emergency for the visiting child so they need to stay or possibly night before hideously early school trip.

I have many children and have never done this-I just wouldn’t.

Possibly in an emergency if a child’s very close friend’s mum was suddenly rushed into hospital or something, I would have them to sleep (this has never happened!) but it wouldn’t be a fun ‘sleepover’ -like a weekend one-just functional sleep!

Whose idea was it?

I'm relieved I haven't been told I'm being OTT.

Recently DD goes to a friend's after school 3 or 4 nights a week with a couple of other girls. The mum drives her to mine and then my DD will come and ask if she can go back with them for tea. I usually say no and explain that we couldn't go and pick her up later because usually either DP or myself work in the evening so one of us will be in with our much younger DC putting them to bed. The friends mum always says she's happy to drive them back. It's awkward because she's so generous with her time and patience and during school holidays she's keen to facilitate sleepovers which is great because they aren't often possible in our house with our young DC, we can manage one extra child at a time overnight only. However, it's all getting a bit much because if we say no DD can't cope (she has ASD), recently they had end of term exams and I said no to going that week and she still kept getting invited even when we'd said why she couldn't go that week. She was so cross with us she refused to engage with any revision.

I need to be firmer and more consistent, but not sure what is reasonable, one after school a week? I'd be interested to hear how other year 7's or similar see their friends in the week?

Doesn't seem a popular opinion but I would let one of mine do this providing they didn't have an exam or something important on the next day.

Saying that though you know your child with regards to how well they'll cope with being tired the next day etc.

Update... She's not come home her usual time from her after school club, so I phoned the parent and quelle surprise, she is there. Parent said she knew I'd said no to a sleepover but thought I'd agreed for her to go to tea. She's bringing her back now. DD had made up some excuse about her phone being broken but I made it clear this morning she wasn't to go. I'm not sure what to do other than say not going until the school holidays? A week left? Then only once a week max after? Parenting bratty tweens is so hard.