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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

8 year old daughter.. body odour.. the 'talk'

40 replies

Yvonne1988 · 29/06/2019 23:44

So I put her to bed tonight and for the first time noticed that smell. She will be 9 in August. I wasn't expecting this so soon, how did I go about giving her a talk about changes etc I don't even know how to start it she just feels too young

OP posts:

Original poster

Yvonne1988 · 30/06/2019 00:32

@Baritriwsahys not specifically you.. there's a few comments about how I should have already done it and I just can't be arsed with that. I asked how I start the conversation not tell me how wrong I am.

OP posts:

MedalMedalMedal · 30/06/2019 00:34

This is a good book. There’s a second one for older girls but the first one is well pitched for an 8 yr old as I recall.

PepsiLola · 30/06/2019 00:40

I would start by bringing up your periods, make them a normal thing. Speak when you're on even if it's just little comments about having a sore tummy as you're on your period.

My mum never so I didn't treat them like normal things.

Regarding BO, just say to her it's been hot recently and everyone's a bit whiffy, give her deodorant and explain that she needs to wash areas like her pits and groin with soap (my sister just used to stand under water and the smell would remain).

If you see an improvement, do nothing more. But if she still smells of BO have a more precise chat?

Bringonspring · 30/06/2019 00:40

I think you only would have left it too late if your DD was upset around the changes and it doesn’t sound like she’s noticed.

It’s just how it’s not suddenly a ‘thing’ is the important part

Original poster

Yvonne1988 · 30/06/2019 00:43

@pepsilola yeh do try and remind her to scrub everywhere but I don't think she remembers sometimes. hopefully will now

OP posts:

Original poster

Yvonne1988 · 30/06/2019 00:44

No I don't think she's bothered. When I noticed we were just laughing about it it wasn't a serious thing told me her friend uses deodorant

OP posts:

Penny2000 · 30/06/2019 00:51

Please don't get stressed about people judging you it must be a shock realising your daughter is growing up, I started having puberty symptoms at 9 got my period at 11 you can start gentle conversation about her own body growing up definitely get some books or Google age appropriate conversation with your daughter. I don't know what else to say but you haven't left it to late you can bond over some conversation about starting to grow into a woman . Good luck

Noroof · 30/06/2019 06:04

I wasn't judging. just genuinely shocked that it's never come up before. I am pretty sure with dd she was about 3 and asking about boobs etc. I've just told her and I don't think it will be any sort of surprise. She's just very accepting of it and it's not a big deal

user1486603480 · 01/07/2019 00:08

My daughter is 8 year old and suffering with body odour I was worried so glad I've found this is it normal what do I do its not every day but its bad sometimes dont want her getting bullied.

user1486603480 · 01/07/2019 00:18

From responses on here worried she is pre puberty shes too little although she knows mummy has lady time and the basic semantics of becoming a lady but more concerned with helping her manage the day to day things. People need to lay off starter of post as it's a lot to speak to a child about and for them to deal with things need to be dealt with as they occur.

On another thing along with the body odour has your daughter been really moody recently mine has and a bit teary.

Muddlingalongalone · 01/07/2019 06:52

Dd1 is 8 and has starting developing breasts but is super tall & overweight so not completely unusual.
I asked gp about precocious puberty and body odour & he said one of his daughter's had it at this age but didn't start periods until 12.
Dd has also talked about puberty at school. Apparantly she repeated verbatim what I'd told her about bodies changing....

Bluerussian · 01/07/2019 09:53

User, is your daughter really 'suffering' or does she just have BO, which is quite normal? You make it sound like an illness.

Make sure she washes her pits and bits thoroughly and uses an antiperspirant. Then she won't smell.

titchy · 01/07/2019 10:03

You talk to them early so it normalises it and doesn't become a big deal.

bellinisurge · 01/07/2019 10:03

Suggest you just talk to her. Not The Talk, just talk. Buy her some deodorant only stuff and encourage her to wash more thoroughly, say with a fun new sponge that she has chosen.
As for periods, you need to make those a totally normal thing to talk about. Private but normal.

mcmen71 · 01/07/2019 15:58

Yvonne1988
I would start the conversation by talking about shower every day and parts of body to wash and show her important places of body to use deodorant. Roll on under arms and spray for all over body.
Ask her has school ever spoke to you about periods. Tell her she can ask you any questions she has it's a way off opening up the conversation.
I wouldn't tell her too much in the first conversation.

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