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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

8 year old daughter.. body odour.. the 'talk'

40 replies

Yvonne1988 · 29/06/2019 23:44

So I put her to bed tonight and for the first time noticed that smell. She will be 9 in August. I wasn't expecting this so soon, how did I go about giving her a talk about changes etc I don't even know how to start it she just feels too young

OP posts:
Noroof · 29/06/2019 23:48

What changes? Surely she must know already? My 5 year old knows you get boobs, hair and periods etc

Herbalteahippie · 29/06/2019 23:50

You need to tell her or she’ll be confused! Get a book that explains it and read it with her

Baritriwsahys · 29/06/2019 23:52

What have you told her so far? This doesn't need to be a huge talk.

Jarjarblinks · 29/06/2019 23:52

Noroof that is not helpful. Why do you think your 5 year old needs to know about that yet?!

OP I'm sure someone with more experience than me will be along shortly but I'm sure there are really good books you could buy for her. Have a look on Amazon and read the reviews.

Original poster
Yvonne1988 · 29/06/2019 23:57

Yeh I have bought a book I had one when I was a kid I don't remember having a talk with my mum just that book. But I want her to be able to talk to me.

Not sure why I would tell her at 5.... Puberty obviously starting now, so now is the time

I haven't spoke to her about anything yet really.

OP posts:
babysharkah · 30/06/2019 00:06

You need to talk to her, can be as simple as here's deodorant, you need to do it now. My mum gave me a book it was useless, talk to her! She will be more clues yo than you think from school anyway.

Original poster
Yvonne1988 · 30/06/2019 00:10

I am gonna talk to her tomorrow just didn't know how to start this conversation. I grew up being embarrassed to talk about things

OP posts:
detangler · 30/06/2019 00:13

I don’t think it necessarily means puberty is round the corner. I was whiffy from that age but periods started at 13.

detangler · 30/06/2019 00:14

It’s when they start developing breasts that things are really happening.

Bringonspring · 30/06/2019 00:14

I would gradually took more and more about these things in casual conversation. I think a ‘big talk’ is cringe (reminds me of my mum telling me). It’s important that boobs and periods become normal conversations and your comfortable with that otherwise she will be too embarrassed to come to you

Original poster
Yvonne1988 · 30/06/2019 00:16

Yeh I don't want that at all. That's what I had.

OP posts:
Bringonspring · 30/06/2019 00:17

5 is little for a big talk but again talking about boobs etc can be discussed, not shying away from a conversation if it comes up.

Haggisfish · 30/06/2019 00:17

I teach pshe and research shows the sooner children know about these things, the better. My dc are 6 and 8 (one boy and one girl) - they both know ‘baby beds’ come out of ladies vaginas once a month. They know about penises and vaginas and that sex is what happens to make a baby. I don’t want either of them to have the ‘shock’ of finding these things out. Loads of good puberty books available-look in Amazon.

FckIt · 30/06/2019 00:17

My period started when I was about 8 and a half. Everything hit me like a train but my mum prepared me from young so I knew what was happening
I had to help most girls in my class when they thought they were dying! Grin

OP, you'll be okay, I'd sit her down and discuss all the changes that are to come just so shes prepared, maybe even make her a little pack to carry around with her just in case? Like a pad, some wipes, etc

Bringonspring · 30/06/2019 00:18

Me to. My mum use to ask me if I had my ‘friend’ each week AKA period and therefore needed pads at the shop.

I’m still not comfortable saying the word ‘period’ as an adult because of it but determined to get over it for my DD

Bluerussian · 30/06/2019 00:20

Why do you think puberty is on the horizon?
Lots of kids have BO at 8. I think I might have but my periods didn't start until I was 13. Just make sure she is scrupulously clean and uses a sensitive antiperspirant. If she bathes at night tell her she must wash her armpits in the morning, dry and then spray on. She then won't have BO.

Good idea to tell her about periods though but she might already know, kids are pretty clued up from an early age and talk about such things. I'm surprised you haven't told her already.

Baritriwsahys · 30/06/2019 00:20

Not sure why I would tell her at 5.... Puberty obviously starting now, so now is the time

Because if you make these things no big deal they end up being no big deal. Kids know mums have boobs, hair etc. It's always been expected that they will grow and develop that too.

Original poster
Yvonne1988 · 30/06/2019 00:22

I don't mind talking to adults about it now, I'm not shy at all.. just the thought of my little girl being not so little. It just came as a bit of a shock to me tonight

OP posts:
Original poster
Yvonne1988 · 30/06/2019 00:24

I havent told her because I didn't think she needed to know yet. I didn't come here to be judged I just had a question.

OP posts:
Bringonspring · 30/06/2019 00:24

Awwww that I understand. I sometimes want time to stand still!

Storkbloom · 30/06/2019 00:25

My 3 year old knows she will get a period and boobs one day. She has seen me changing tampons, she has seen my boobs, she has seen my pubic hair. She asks what it is, why do I have that etc, because she doesn't , she has asked if she can have a tampon etc - so I just explained that when she got older then she would get boobs and periods and hair like mummy. That lead to her asking why daddy didn't have boobs, which was a great way to tell her than boys grow into men and are male, girls grow into women and are female and we have different bodies .

Storkbloom · 30/06/2019 00:26

I remember my grandma got me a book... I don't remember "The Talk" I think it all came from the book mostly until my period actually came.

LoafofSellotape · 30/06/2019 00:28

Bath or shower every day and clean clothes ,if that's not enough then some deodorant. Lots of kids have a burst of hormones at this age then it settles down again until later.

Give her the book to read ,then read it together and tell her she can ask you about bits she doesn't understand. This is the perfect age to start talking with her.

Original poster
Yvonne1988 · 30/06/2019 00:29

Thanks. Yeh gonna get her to shower daily now especially with it being so warm. It's the holidays for us now so can get her used to putting it on in the morning.

I didn't think I'd left it too long to start talking.

OP posts:
Baritriwsahys · 30/06/2019 00:30

I didn't come here to be judged I just had a question

It wasn't a judgement. I asked what she knew already because that would be a starting point.