11 year old dd is so lazy and scruffy and not responsible

[TheRealAllieG]

I have a 12 yo and 11 yo dds, as I have an older one I know that kids this age leave thing lying about and can be lazy but dd11 is something else!!

she will take food upstairs (despite not being allowed) and leaves pots/wrappers on the floor, leaves dirty and clean clothes all over the floor and all over her bed. books, pens, paper, school bag etc just wherever she throws them down then that is where they stay.

I give her extra jobs to do (washing dishes, vacuuming etc) if she doesn't keep her things tidy. I take her phone, I can ban screen time, say she cant go out with her friends etc etc but nothing helps. she would rather take the punishment than just pick up after herself.

ive tried helping her tidy, I have completely tidies the room top to bottom a couple of times and she says how much better it is and promises to keep on top of it but it doesn't last more than a day.

she misplaces things all the time, school books, library books, pe kit, trainers, but never things that she values, like her phone, her pencil case with all her gel pens or her favourite clothes.

Im just at a loss of what to do. shes at high school in September and its only going to get worse if she doesn't get her act together. if it was just her room I would consider just closing her door and letting her live in the mess but her sister has to share the room so its just not fair. dd12 isn't a saint and she still leaves things lying about sometimes, but with a reminder she will go and pick them up. dd11 just doesn't seem to care.

[Charm23]

Do you follow through with the punishments?

[Iggly]

Maybe she just is very scatty brained.

She sounds like me. I forget to do things even in the middle of doing things and I’m easily distracted. Then when things get really messy I get massively overwhelmed.

She probably needs to be tidying for ten minutes a day and you help her with that until it sticks.

[TheRealAllieG]

yes, follow through with the consequences
she just leaves things everywhere it drives me mad. that's a good idea just helping her a small amount each day, might stick better than a full day of tidying together every few months

[10marlboroughlites]

This sounds exactly like my 13 year old DS. His older brother is completely different. I just think it's how he is!
He does get spending money reduced, extra jobs to do as well.
I also made him pay for an item of uniform he'd lost (3rd time) out of his spending money. Drives me mad tbh but I'm sick of shouting at him!