Crop tops or not, 9yrs old

[youlemming]

DD who's 9 has most definitely started developing breasts, I've brought some simple white crop tops to wear for school on P.E days but she's not keen.
She thinks that will be more noticeable than being topless while changing, at this stage yr4 they change in the classroom, girls and boys together.

I'd rather her be noticed for wearing tops than for the developing breast but obviously she sees it as being different.

Would you just let it be for now or insist on wearing a crop top?

She generally stands out anyway as she's tall and stocky wearing 12-13yr clothes, already getting wider at the hip, oily skin and body odour, so she definitely started puberty.

My DD is the same. I have also bought her crop tops but leaving it up to her as to when she wants to wear them, they are there if she needs them.

Was in the same boat with my daughter. She wouldn't wear the supermarket ones so I took her shopping for her to pick some. Debenhams do some lovely pineapple ones with matching short pants. Also river island had some trendy ones too. They're slightly more expensive, but my daughter (now 10) now wears them for lounging around in the house. She loves them.

I think that’s too old for mixed sex changing, have s word with the school.

Rather than describing our children and their underwear online, could I suggest you talk to school about the changing room arrangements which sound unusual and rubbish!

Would a plain white vest be more discrete? Maybe a crop top screams 'bra' which she might feel uncomfortable about owing to her age. A vest is less bra-like and could be perceived as being worn for comfort/warmth? At that age, I think kids hate standing out for being different to their peers.

Not unusual at all at my school. Boys and girls change in the same room all the way through primary. They also have mixed sex toilets.

Thank you for the replies.
She's very much a tom boy and is a little mortified at the sight of the mainly girly looking underwear when we went shopping but reluctantly agree to the plain white tops, which under school shirts work well.
She wears boys boxers most of the time or if we can find them plain girls shorts type pant.

Think I will just leave it for a bit, maybe once a few more of the girls start wearing them she'll not feel out of place.

It's all new to me at this age as I had virtually nothing up top until well into my teens and couldn't wait to have enough to wear a proper bra.

Same here OP. My daughter was sent home from school literally a few weeks ago because she had started her period and was upset. She's only just turned 10 ☹️. I was a late starter in all aspects, so this has been new to me too!

H&M for none girly boxer type underwear for girls. My daughter much prefers them to the classic knickers and they are so comfortable.

We have also gone for plain white straps vests, which are so plain they don’t look like vests but normal straps tops which work well under shirts for school. Our school have the same set up and don’t separate for changing til year 6.

Rather than describing our children and their underwear online, could I suggest you talk to school about the changing room arrangements which sound unusual and rubbish!

I second this

Its normal fir a 9 yr old to be awkward about this stuff. Not normal and not fair to have to carry the worry of going through it inFront of boys.

Rather than describing our children and their underwear online, could I suggest you talk to school about the changing room arrangements which sound unusual and rubbish!

This ^

Totally unnecessary descriptions.

Blimey, if you can’t discuss such things on here what’s the point of MN? I hate the MN police who think they can decide what is worthy of discussion.

Sometimes it's sensible not to.

I Work in a primary school.
Separate changing usually happens Y5 - not always though depending on the girls (and indeed boys) in the class and how fast they individually reach puberty. Generally it's led by a parent expressing concern so do tell school please.

Late in Y4 is tough. We're nearly at summer so spend the break with your DD talking it through.

For my own DD, it was the sticky out nipples which was the problem so we went for slightly padded soft racer back bra's from Primark. Didn't need much boob but wanted a comfy solution.

This one (in white as she wears white shirts). XXS or XS and adjustable back straps.

www.primark.com/en/categories/womens/lingerie-underwear/bras/bralet/rose-lounge-bra/p/123199828

Tigertiger10 exactly, this is part of the problem, kids feel awkward about completing natural things because they get told its not appropriate to talk about.
There's nothing in the discussion that is offensive, overly graphic or identifying.

I remember going through primary school wearing just pants and a vest for indoors P.E!

Will have a look at the thin strap vests, just worried it will be too warm.
But it's not long until the summer holidays so will go with her lead and see what we can agree to over the break.

When my son was at primary school, boys and girls started to change separately from Year 5, so that may well be the same in your daughter's school.
Also, as more of her classmates start wear crop tops etc. maybe she won't mind them so much.
I suppose it's always more difficult for those who are slightly earlier than their peers in starting to develop. I was still flat chested when I left Primary so didn't mind still changing with the boys, but a few of my classmates started to wear training bras during our final year (no crop tops back then). They were normally allowed to change separately in the toilets.