How much sex knowledge is normal in primary school?

[Fettuccinecarbonara]

Dd is 11, almost 12. Still in primary school - she has no mobile phone yet as still goes everywhere with us, and is quite happy to.

She has an iPad which has content restricted.

I found s book on her desk which has sexualised drawings in it (done by her!) of a man saying ‘suck it’ and a woman saying ‘fuck me hard’

I am GOBSMACKED! She would be horrified if she knew I’d seen them, and would get cross at me breaking her ‘trust’ and ‘snooping’ but I need to broach it with her! She’s obviously watched porn on some level - maybe at sleepovers with her friends?

How would you broach this? And what would you do to ensure she stays safe? She’s my first child and I’m at a loss.

I should say, that since this morning when I discovered the book, it has now disappeared from her desk, making it harder to have a conversation with her about the actual drawings themselves.

Oh that would really upset me OP. I’d say she’s definitely seen porn and sadly it seems this is pretty common now by her age. Definitely needs a (difficult, I’m sure) conversation.

This would worry me. I would ring the nspcc for advice and/or speak the safeguarding lead at school.

This is worrying and will have to be addressed. I would be very matter of fact with her and let her no she is not in any trouble. Use a calm voice and explain it is very important she tells you where she has heard those expressions. It could be that someone at school has been drawing similar. If that’s the case you need to inform school as it may be a red flag for abuse.

Thank you. I’ll speak with her about it in the morning, I don’t want her worrying about it all night.

I’ll probably pose it as a general concern from the school that they’ve overheard conversations/had disclosures from other students which they’ve asked me to talk to her about.

That way she gets to speak with me about what she may have witnessed without the emotion attached to me going in her space and looking through her stuff.

I am actually quite upset about this. I’ve not even spoken to DH about it, as he would worry and want to deal with it directly, not necessarily in a constructive way.

Good luck. It is upsetting but you’re doing the right thing. Most importantly you’re teaching her she can come to you with anything.

I’ll probably pose it as a general concern from the school that they’ve overheard conversations/had disclosures from other students which they’ve asked me to talk to her about.

Jesus just tell her you saw it. Don't make her feel paranoid around her friends to cover yourself.