How to help 12 year old with no social filter.

[AFOLNerd]

Dd is the most caring lovely girl but she has no social filter, if it is in her head it will come out. Causing endless issues at school with her friends etc.
Bit of background dd has a genetic condition with has caused some abnormalities in her appearance, she is also showing no signs of starting puberty (possibly related not sure yet) so she is already noticeably different to her peers which has caused problems with bullying which the school have dealt with.

Example of the sort of things dd does. Yesterday she asked E if she thought S was two faced. Of course E runs off to S and tells her Dd thinks you’re two faced and world war 3 breaks out between the 3 girls.

Dd can’t understand why that was maybe not a good thing to ask as it infers that she thinks S is. As in her mind it was just a question that popped in to her head.

This is just one example of issues that happen numerous times a day.
She constantly comes out with really inappropriate comments, it’s not malicious in anyway, she just doesn’t seem to be able to see how something she says can be upsetting to other people as “that’s not how I meant it”

I want to help her but I have no idea how?

Has she been tested for Aspergers?

Have you asked school for advice?

From your description I'd say that sounds pretty 'normal' for a 12yr old girl, they're still learning social skills and the ways of the world. My DD is the same, I put it down to inexperience/immaturity.

Sounds pretty normal. If she hasn’t had friends it will be more difficult for her to pick up on social cues. What have you done to help her make friends away from school?

Can you make an age-appropriate list of things she shouldn't mention and get her to go through it with you frequently?

Check to see if there are any social skills classes or groups at school or run by an OT dept for kids who struggle with social communication.

Have a look at youtube, loads of videos to choose from, find some she can relate to.