Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Flip

Original poster

12 year old DD changes since big school

15 replies

joesy43 · 12/05/2019 22:05

So my 12 yr old goes to a secondary school with not a great reputation. I was told this evening that someone said she is starting to sound 'common'...and tbh I have noticed myself her voice changing to not what it used to be. It is coming from who she is around at school? This all sounds so daft but has anyone experienced this before..there's not a lot you can do really is there? p.s I am not a snob in any way but I think this school is having an effect!

OP posts:

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 12/05/2019 22:42

I’ve noticed that my 12yo dd has become a bit more mature since starting high school. Sometimes she’s very sensible and grown up all of a sudden. Sometimes she swears a bit too much but on the whole she’s not too bad. It’s the sudden new influence of other kids. Her school is an ex-grammar school and supposed to be quite good but in my opinion has a pretty wide field of kids attending. She’ll just be trying to fit in with new friends and emulating their speech and mannerisms.

joinedjustfordw · 16/05/2019 17:53

“Common”? What is she supposed to sound lik then?

joinedjustfordw · 16/05/2019 17:54

*like, sorry

Original poster

joesy43 · 16/05/2019 20:01

Like the way she used to which is not how she speaks now!! Common meaning not qell spoken..surely I don't need to explain that to you?

OP posts:

TheoriginalLEM · 16/05/2019 20:03

Get her to Eton at once!!

Is she happy?

Is she progressing well?

Is she well mannered and considerate?

Original poster

joesy43 · 16/05/2019 20:21

Where I am there is a big difference depending on where you live lol...think broad accent and you get what I mean...doing well..yes but has been asked to bunk off...we shall see

OP posts:

LolaSmiles · 16/05/2019 20:29

Her accent has changed, next step it'll be criminality and ASBOs.

Seriously, pre-teens and teens are finding their own identities, forming friendships and new norms/trends that involve not being like their parents. They'll pick up new phrases from each other, new mannerisms and some.will be fine and others annoying. Some will be kept and others will be phases.

You're going to need to chill out a little.

Papergirl1968 · 16/05/2019 20:38

My dds do this - we live in the outskirts of the Black Country and they will say "I ay" instead of "I'm not" and "I cor" instead of "I can't" etc.
I just pretend not to understand and tell them to repeat it in English.
Or occasionally I'll take the piss by saying a few sentences in very broad Black Country, which makes them laugh.
(Apologies to anyone from the Black Country who is offended. I'm BC born and bred but really don't like the accent!)

FurrySlipperBoots · 16/05/2019 20:47

It's normal to pick up the accents of those around you. I lived in Hertfordshire til I was 11, moved to Cornwall when I started secondary and now my accent is a mixture of Hertfordshire, Cornish, Posh (parents private school upbringing) and a tiny hint of northern (as my mum's is when she forgets she had a posh private school upbringing).

The more time your daughter spends with children who talk common the more she'll do so herself. There's not a lot you can do about it though!

ReganSomerset · 16/05/2019 20:57

Yes, that'll happen. It's usually not intentional, just a result of spending lots of time with others who also speak that way.

ReganSomerset · 16/05/2019 21:00

You can limit it by infuriatingly pulling her up on it every single time. Like my DF did.
Me: yeah
DF: pardon?
Me: yeah
DF: I can't quite understand you...

Etc. Really frustrating when I was a kid but did work to some extent.

greenlynx · 16/05/2019 21:02

My DD always picks up the accent from people around her. I’ve basically could tell her playground friends from her way of talking. It also could be that majority of kids in her form are talking this way and your DD doesn’t want to stand out.

lifeis48 · 16/05/2019 22:18

Am getting like at the end of each sentence lol..thanks for the 'chill out' maybe you're right lol and fyi it isn't just me..2 others have noticed also...i get she's picking up on those around her..I also have an older one who has asked her why her voice has changed lol

lorisparkle · 17/05/2019 12:12

At 12 your dd will be desperate to 'fit in' with her peers. Depending on who I am with I unintentionally vary my accent. With my in laws I sound terribly posh but around some of my friends I don't sound posh enough so I find myself slightly varying my accent to 'fit in'. As long as your dd is polite and knows how to adapt her use of words or grammar to the people she is with then I would not worry.

MummyBear2352 · 17/05/2019 19:24

It’s probably an attempt to fit in in her new environment. I’d have a chat with her to say that whilst you understand she wishes to fit in at school that she really needs to maintain the standards she’s used to at home

my kids have done exactly this ( their own instigation ) and it works very well.

Flip