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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

12 year old with poor appetite

10 replies

lotusbell · 13/03/2019 19:20

My son has just turned 12. For about 2 years now his appetite has dwindled. He had a great appetite when he was younger but seems to eat less and like less as he's got older. Foods and meals he used to love he's gone off, for example, he'd happily have an omelette a few years ago bit now won't entertain it. He goes through phases of loving certain meals then a few weeks later if you offer it to him, he says he's gone off it. I struggle to think of different meals for him. He does gave a very sweet tooth and likes to graze and it doesn't help that he lets himself in after school and I don't get home til gone 5, so by that time, he's already had a chocolate biscuit or babybel. However, I dont think this is the only reason he's not hungry for his tea because he'll quite often say he didn't have much for his lunch as he just wasn't hungry. He's had 2 boiled eggs with 2 slices of toast for tea, eating all the toast but leaving a lot of egg. At school he had a cookie! Shouldn't a boy of his age be ravenous at teatime? He also goes to the toilet a lot, sometimes it's poo, other times just wind but I don't think he empties his bowels properly each time. He also wakes often in the night complaining of feeling sick but usually its just that he needs a poo.
At the beginning of the year I tried him with a tonic and I think it has helped but he still doesn't eat a great deal. He's average height and while he's slim, he's not skinny. Other than put my foot down about snacking, which I know i need to do, what else can I do? Should I take him to a doctor to rule out anything underlying?

OP posts:
MadauntofA · 13/03/2019 19:24

He sounds like he may be constipated, and that can really knock your appetite off. Take him to your GP after you have had a chat with him about how often he is going/ what's it like (great conversation topic for a 12yr old!!

dancemom · 13/03/2019 19:25

How much fruit and veg does he eat?

What does he have for breakfast and lunch?

lotusbell · 13/03/2019 19:26

@MadauntofA, thank you. I don't think he's constipated, i think it may be the opposite. I often question him on his movements and if anything, I think they can be quite loose.

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MadauntofA · 13/03/2019 19:27

Google Bristol Stool chart and show it to him - 4 is the ideal, but either end of the scale on a regular basis needs looking at

MadauntofA · 13/03/2019 19:28

You can be really constipated and be loose at the same time, but if he is really loose and pain and poor appetite, then definitely take him to the GP

lotusbell · 13/03/2019 19:29

@dancemom, definitely not enough fruit, but we don't as a family. He likes veg, but again, I struggle to get enough in him as he likes things like leek and potato soup or chicken goujons on their own or pizza. Will eat cabbage, brocolli and peas sometimes. Likes apples and grapes but that's about it fruitwise. I know i need to try and get him to have more.

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lotusbell · 13/03/2019 19:30

He's not in pain all the time, it tends ymto come on at night time, after he's already been asleep for a bit. He goes and sits on the toilet for a bit and that usually helps. Bristol stool chart is a good idea.

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 14/03/2019 06:52

Agree with the other posters, have a look at the chart and see what's going on then book an appointment at the GP. He shouldn't be waking and going to the loo regularly at 12 and he should be hungry.

I know you've said he's not getting enough fruit and veg, is he getting enough exercise too? An hour a day is recommended.

Could he be snacking more than you think after school too? If my teen doesn't finish his dinner it's usually because he's eaten lots on the way home from school. One day he admitted to eating 2 pasties and another 5 big cookies Shock

This guide from the Caroline Walker Trust should give you an idea of what he should be eating in a day. I found it very useful with my slim teen Smile

lotusbell · 14/03/2019 12:47

@JiltedJohnsJulie, that guide is really useful thank you. He's not getting much exercise at the moment but we do get out in the evening to our local park when the weather is decent, anything to get him off the bloody ps4! plus he walks about 2 miles a day to school. He reports stools normal on the chart but I'm going to really firm up on the snack front and make more of an effort to increase the fruit and veg plus more fluids.As my dad says, don't ask what he wants, just make it and put it in front of him. Thanks for all advice, again!

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 14/03/2019 15:47

As my dad says, don't ask what he wants, just make it and put it in front of him. Thanks for all advice, again!

I think your Dad is right. Ours get tea cooked, but it's what I feel like cooking rather than requests.

I do a meal plan though so will ask them if there is one meal they want to choose for the following week which seems to work.

I wouldn't cook something that I knew one of them didn't enjoy though.

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