12yo DS2 is so negative......is this hormones?

[BaconAndAvocado]

DS2 started in Year 7 last September. He's recently had a few issues with another boy being unkind to him but this got sorted very quickly by the school.

He's an intelligent boy and up until very recently was great company, funny and generally positive about most things.

I've just this minute had yet another text from him telling me how much he hates his school, how bad life is, how he's feeling down. He says it's the lessons, "they're boring!" He's at a grammar school but isn't struggling in an academic sense as far as I know.

He does talk to me and I do listen and try and chivvy him along and remind him how lucky he is. I think one of the problems is that his close friends went to different schools. He still sees these boys outside of school.

Also, I think he was a very popular boy in Year 6 and now he's feeling a bit isolated. He's made one new friend who seems great.

I just want him to be happier!

So this the start of teen hormone hell or should we be worried?

Bump

My dd is 12 and started secondary school in September.
I've noticed recently she has become very negative in her pattern of thinking and I wondered the same...is this hormones or do I need to address this.
Sorry, I'm not much help, but I wanted you to know, you're not alone!

Thanks stepup

We had a rocky evening....then DS2 apologised for his negativity.

I'm hoping things settle down.
Negative thought processes are not a good avenue to go down in the long run :-/

My ds is 11, in year 6, so hasn’t even moved school yet and has developed a negative outlook in the last six months.
He tells me he’s rubbish at everything (including things he’s good at), he hates things rather than doesn’t like them much and says he doesn’t have any friends even though he seems to have the same nice group of mates.
I don’t know whether it is SATS prep or hormones but it’s really draining.

I have stopped telling him to stop moaning, and try to think of nice things to distract him, pizza for tea, a favourite trip etc, a top score on Nintendo, but it’s heavy going.

He was better yesterday. We had inset day so cycling in the sunshine and then trip to a local science project. Ie less screen time. Maybe it’s that.

That's exactly what it is @Seniorschoolmum draining!

Had similar last year with DD also isolated at a grammar and only got happy again on changing schools. DS is 12 and happy most days though finding transition tough - he's ASD. I made DD stick it out a year and she made friends through clubs but still unhappy at year end. It's worth trying to encourage friendships via clubs / inviting round and see if that helps and chat to him about how he's feeling - try and gauge is it just mildly unhappy or very depressed - my DD was very depressed. 12 year old DS but he's ASD - happy as larry most of time but has found transition to secondary challenging with his ASD plus we have moved areas. Hope you can find a way he's happier again.

We had similar last year when ds was year 7, also at grammar. It started around Easter and it turned out there was a boy picking on him with spiteful comments, although it took ages for us to work out that this was the issue. Ds had been good friends with him, and he felt isolated.

Ds also has some issues along the lines of ASD/Tourette’s/ADHD (still trying to clarify what!). We raised the issues with his teacher, there was lots of talk at school about bullying etc but not sure it really helped.

Somehow things completely turned around in year 8. I think it was a combination of all of them feeling a bit more settled, ds getting a bit more perspective/learning not to be quite so sensitive etc. The boy is now one of his best friends and he’s very settled.

I do think he’s prone to introspection and gloominess though so I’m expecting it to reoccur again. My dd who’s never had any such issues, always very positive, had a patch like this in Autumn of year 9 and again in Autumn of year 10!

Thanks all for,your advice and empathy.

DS2 is feeling loads more optimistic. He said to me about half an hour ago, School's actually okay and if I start to feel down I'm going to be more positive.

I'm very proud of him ( and immensely relieved!)

He's starting to make new friends and revisit old friendships. I'm definitely feeling loads more positive and will sleep a lot better tonight.

My DS is in Y8 at a grammar and i just the same. I think his is his hormones though as he's generally much happier at secondary school than in primary. He actually has friends now and isn't bored senseless by never ending SATs prep. It's almost like it's an affectation of what he thinks a teenager should be like!