13 year old wont kiss Grandma

[Yogamad]

My daughter is 13, she sees my mother in law a few times a year. Last weekend when we were leaving my MIL asked my daughter to kiss her, my daughter went over and offered her head to be kissed but would not kiss her Grandma. MIL went mad and eventually stomped off saying I had to teach DD to behave better. This isn't the first time this has happened but was the worse reaction so far. My DD is not the kissy type and doesn't really like anyone except me and her Dad giving her a kiss. I don't know whether to force DD to kiss MIL or how to explain to MIL without offending her. She said things like "Well she obviously doesn't like me" and "I am your Gran for goodness sake" It was all very awkward. Unfortunately seeing her again very soon so any advice appreciated. Thanks p.s. this is my first ever post so sorry if I have not used correct protocol.

Yep MIL’s behaviour is appalling and she needs to behave better!

No one should expect a 13 year old to kiss or hug them unless they wanted too - how strange

I used to hate being forced to kiss relatives when I was a kid.

Please don't force her. Tell your MIL to stop being so dramatic and laying on the guilt, that your daughter prefers hugs and that kissing is not bloody compulsory.

I read an article somewhere about how forcing kids to kiss / hug relatives when they don't want to makes it difficult for children to report "unwanted" advances from other people/relatives as they are normalised into thinking it's expected that people force themselves on to you from a young age..

This is why I asked OP what has happened for the past 13 years.

You shouldn't ever make a child kiss or hug anyone at any age. Bodily autonomy is exceptionally important, if you teach her to disregard her own instincts when it comes to what she does/doesn't want to do with her body she could be pressurised into much more sinister things.

Totally agree. It's her body. She's not being rude. Or disrespectful. It's her choice who she touches. Please teach her that it's ok to say no.

Makes my skincrawl. I can't bear to touch or be touched by most people I know (I don't mean brushing against but showing or being shown physical affection) even the thought of being kissed on the head uggh. Def stand up for daughter!

DD is 19 now but has always hated hugging or kissing. When she was younger and relatives used to expect it I used to give a cheerful "oh DD doesn't do kissing, haha" and didn't give a shit if anyone else was upset by that. It's a tactic I can highly recommend.

I have a 14 year old and wouldn't dream of making her kiss me never mind anyone else.
Sometimes she will kiss me on the lips, sometimes I am just allowed to kiss her head or cheek.
Her choice.

You don’t force anyone to kiss anyone. Ever.

Why do you care more about keeping the peace and the status quo and appeasing an unreasonable person than your daughter’s consent?

Your daughter needs an advocate and a role model. Be one. Support her.

FFS.

Your husband needs to speak to his mother and tell her that his daughter will not be kissing her if she does not want to.

I'm surprised she has got to 15, tbh.
Your MiL needs to give her head a wobble.

OP isn't coming back now are they?

Thanks everyone, wow I thought maybe 1 or 2 people would give advice, so many helpful comments and ideas. I love the idea of having a stock response ready and DD likes that idea too. To answer a couple of comments, I think it has recently become an issue more because a. DD just went along with it before b. MIL is more needy now. All her other grandchildren kiss her and so she just expects my DD to be the same. Anyway, I am so grateful for all the advice. Much appreciated and thanks for taking time to comment.