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Pre Teen assaulted at party

11 replies

empod · 17/01/2019 11:43

To cut a long story short - our pre teen DD was touched inappropriately by a man during a family party, he also made inappropriate comments ( minor ) to her. She wanted to report the incident to police as in her words, she didn’t want it to happen to another girl.
Anyway, police investigated and arrived at my house at 21:40 last night to inform me that he won’t be charged as there were no witnesses.
I am feeling very frustrated and angry for my dd , who had the courage to report it but I think what was the point as nothing is being done about it. I am also very annoyed that the policeman sat on my sofa and told me how badly affected the op wife had been by the allegation . There seems little support for the child yet concern for the other family.
How would you feel?

OP posts:
ChariotsofFish · 17/01/2019 11:46

I’d be furious. I don’t know what you can do about it though. Hopefully your daughter’s report will help if anyone else reports something similar.

Disfordarkchocolate · 17/01/2019 11:47

I'd be bloody annoyed but not that surprised. He is on the police radar now so if someone else is in the same position your daughter will have helped them. Does her school offer any pastoral support that would help her? I would let the police know that it was not appropriate to let your daughter know of the wife's reaction, what was that meant to do apart from make your daughter feel guilty?

BabiesComeWithHats · 17/01/2019 11:49

I would complain about that policeman's comments for starters.

Oakmaiden · 17/01/2019 11:50

Was your daughter alone with the man? Are there definitely no witnesses?

I understand that, however frustrating, if there is no evidence the police can't actually do anything. However, telling you about the effect on the culprit's wife is completely unacceptable. Her feelings are completely irrelevant.

Ribbonsonabox · 17/01/2019 11:51

At least the wife now knows and can look out for similar behaviour from him.... what your daughter has done is brave and does help other girls because she has alerted people to how he is and now everyone will be watching him.
I'd be dissapointed it didnt get any further with the police but make it clear to daughter that shes done the right thing and that even though he hasn't been charged she has helped other girls by speaking up.

BertrandRussell · 17/01/2019 11:51

That can’t be right, surely? Can you take it further?
The NSPCC are very good at giving advice on this sort of thing.

empod · 17/01/2019 11:52

Thank you for your replies.
Dd wasn’t in the room ( thankfully ) when policeman made comment re wife. I guess we just have to keep supporting her and assuring her she made the right decision to report.
I agree that he will now be on the radar for the future, which is a positive thing

OP posts:
empod · 17/01/2019 11:54

I agree with all of your comments.
I am going to contact the SW liaison and provide feedback.

OP posts:
empod · 17/01/2019 11:56

Oakmaiden she was not alone in the room with him but unfortunately it seems there are no witnesses.

OP posts:
empod · 17/01/2019 11:57

Ribbonsonabox 💗

OP posts:
poobumwee · 17/01/2019 13:31

Very sorry to read what your DD has been through. she was very brave to report it.

I agree that the policeman's comments are a disgrace and I would make a complaint

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