Period Denial

[Mcarnz]

My sister is 12 and we think she started her period around 3 months ago (she never told us, we found hidden bloody underwear). My mum isn’t really in the picture and my dad and I have had a talk with her about hygiene& how it’s nothing to be embarrassed about but she doesn’t want to know,.
She refuses to wear sanitary towels and is bleeding through her clothes, although we can’t find them as she’s hidden them pretty well.
Every time we mention the word period she goes 0-100 and starts screaming at us.
I’m at my wits end, I know how embarrassing it is to bleed through to a chair at school (and that was with a nighttime sanitary towel on and two pairs of underwear), I just wish she cared about her period and BO!!! What do we do???.

How awful for you and your Sister. Is there another adult woman who could talk to her? Granny, Auntie, neighbour or teacher? Could you buy some sanitary products and leave them in her knocker drawer? Is there a bin in the loo at home too?

How awful for her. Do you think she possibly doesn't want to discuss it as she feels it is something she should have been able to discuss with a mother? Perhaps there is a deeper issue that needs addressing

there must be a deeper issue - what else is she struggling with?

as a practical thing, leaving sanpro easily available to her (including disposal bags so she can get rid of it invisibly) might help. And a book on growing bodies etc so she can read in private.

She has sanitary products in her draw, alongside nappy sacks to put them in and a pin hidden in her wardrobe. My mum has spoken to her about her period but that was about 3 months ago, it seems to be quite a taboo thing at school, she mentioned that no one discusses their period (despite being in an all girls school).

If your DM has spoken to her but it was about 3 months ago, is your DM aware of how she's behaving? It's good that she already has things in place. Has she got a nice, discreet kit for her school bag too?

I can recommend a book called the Care and Keeping of You 2.

As for the BO. My DD is a very reluctant washer. Your DF needs to make sure she has a bath or shower every day. He's not helping her at all if he lets her stink. Could he treat her to some nice products from somewhere like lush to encourage her to keep clean?

She refuses to put anything in her school bag/blazer, if we do she takes it out. Her mum only sees her once a week so doesn’t really see the side of my sister that we do and my dad and I don’t have contact with her.
She showers every other day and even that’s a chore to get her to do that, we explain that she has to have one everyday but we can’t force her in to the shower.
It’s sad, but we’re coming to terms with the fact that she’s not mentally accepting that this is happening so unfortunately it may take someone at school saying something to her about her period or smell to get her to listen because we aren’t getting through to her!

I was thinking that eventually she will have a moment that will cause her to feel embarrassed and at which point she will probably start to use the sanitary products. It's a horrible way for it to happen as children in schools can be very mean and if an incident occurs, they can be labelled as 'the girl who bled on the chair' for years. Hopefully it won't come to that

Could you DF talk to her form teacher? Has any of her behaviour been a concern before? Does she have friends and study ok?

Just an ideal but would period pants seem a bit less daunting - many have black inners so she wouldn't even have to see the blood x