Just came back from staying with a friend. I felt stressed throughout.
My friend, a woman in her sixties had a back problem which was debilitating and made it difficult for her to leave the house, it is due to an injury and slowly getting better. I did suggest we didn't come but she insisted and often enjoys our company. She is normally out and about, and working part-time in a academic role.
We stay with this friend frequently and she is a good friend of mine.. Even when my friend is well she can be abrupt and cutting in her comments. She often has a low tolerance for my son's rowdy and sometimes rude behaviour. The more my friend reprimanded my son or cut him off when he was talking the ruder he became. I told him off when he was rude but felt angry and upset when she was talking over the top of him or ignoring (some of his well meaning remarks).
Worse was to come, another friend of my friend's arrived with his teenage son. My son was excited and I think anxious about this. Anyway my son became so excited he talked over the top of others and tried to be part of the conversation and I did try to include him but he became boisterous and rude when my host continued to cut him of or exclude him. It was a nightmare. The dad and son stayed for a night and the next day the four of us, (not the friend with the back problem) went on a long walk and that was mostly enjoyable.
I do discipline my son for rudeness and constantly talk about how to behave when with others (i.e waiting for someone to finish speaking before speaking, keeping his voice at a reasonable volume, and appreciating that people can be irritable and not at their best when they are unwell etc). However he does not behave well when stressed he becomes loud and will sometimes even say thing which he knows are not appropriate at the time.
At home he is very affectionate and loving. He is also extremely argumentative and lately many of my questions are answered in an angry and defiant manner. Getting him to do homework, read, get ready for school, get of the iPad are an ongoing struggle. I need some help with this. I am a single parent without family support. If anyone has had similar issues with a 9 year old boy or similar, and can share words of wisdom I would be grateful.