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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

10 year old just started periods

33 replies

Dollygirl2008 · 13/12/2018 14:19

Hi, I'm sure that 10 (and a bit!) isn't that young to have started their periods, but it feels sooooo young to me and I'm struggling a bit! How can you have periods and still believe in Father Christmas??

I'm putting aside how devastated I feel and am trying to make this as easy and "non-eventful" as I can for my DD. Only day two, so I'll see how today has gone when I collect her tonight. I just wanted to advice really on what to expect. I'll list my questions if I may:

Do these first periods tend to be "normal" periods, or more like "shows"?

Any advice on best sanitary protection? She's gone to school today with pads, but we are going tonight to buy some different ones as she doesn't want the wings showing when she's changing for sport etc.

Any other advice to make this OK for her

She's pretty sorted and grown up but she's struggling as she's by far more advanced physically than any of her friends and we had so many tears last night as she feels so different.

Also, I'm a single parent and sometimes I just need a bit of perspective! Thanks in advance

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 13/12/2018 16:59

I would get a selection of towels. There is a range from lillets that's for teens but dd found them a bit small. She likes big thick kotex towels that I get from home bargains or other discount chemists. Beware of Always towels as a lot of the range are scented. Bodyform are generally unscented. I sniff the packets to check... must look like a weirdo up the sanitary towel aisle!

dementedpixie · 13/12/2018 17:00

Lillets also do a starter set in a wee zippy bag which is handy for taking spare stuff to school

Yinv · 13/12/2018 17:01

If she doesn’t want the wings showing, she could wear 2 pairs of pants. The second pair would have to be a style with a bit more coverage.

TheWiseWomansFear · 13/12/2018 17:02

It really isn't young, completely normal. Also getting periods doesn't make you a 'woman' anymore, she's still a young child, her body is just beginning to grow up now.

Don't make it a big deal, get her some sweets and a hot water bottle.

dementedpixie · 13/12/2018 17:04

Not all pads have wings. Dd wears ones without wings

LeslieKnopefan · 13/12/2018 17:04

Oh I do feel for her. I was the same age. The good news is that there is a lot more help now and better products available.

Google about period knickers, i love them. In America they sell swimsuits you can wear and go swimming during your period so only a matter of time before they are available here too.

Main thing is to get a little bag for her with supplies in that she can keep in the bag as she might not had a regular cycle for a while.

wombatsears · 13/12/2018 17:05

Don't make it a big deal, get her some sweets and a hot water bottle.

Why would you get her sweets? She’s not ill. I’d say you’d be making more of a big deal of it by doing this.

Ancienchateau · 13/12/2018 17:07

Aw, one of mine started at 10. It was more of a shock for me than her. She then didn't have another one for about 6 months.

She uses pads with wings mostly but they have to wear "skorts" most days at school so they don't show.

Tell her it's totally normal to get periods this age and be developed etc. One of my DD's friends also got them young and she is like mine: very chilled and grown up. Try and look at it positively: I am very much hoping the maturity of my now 12 year old will continue and she won't dissolve into a melting pot of teenage hysteria like some of her older siblings!

PinkHeart5914 · 13/12/2018 17:07

I was about 10 so I don’t think it’s unusual at that age to be honest. Then my boobs were a fair size by 10 too, I was most developed in my class and it did make me self conscious but that passes as other girls catch up.

I’d get a few packs of towels in different thickness, I find that bodyform are the best brand for me and they are unscented.

Buy her a chocolate stash and offer hot water bottle & ibuprofen if she needs it.

Topofthehills · 13/12/2018 17:09

I was 10 too - it was ok because my mum was the same and saw it coming!

I was quite mature and sensible, but I did have a bit of a leakage incident once at that age - I had friends round and was enjoying myself too much to go and change the pad! I am forever grateful to my mum for dealing with it discreetly and matter-of-factly.

I alternated very light and "normal" periods at that age. At first they were also more like 21-22 day cycles, which was annoying. Had some medication to fix even them out and my body adapted.

Alarice · 13/12/2018 17:09

Buy her a pretty makeup bag with pads, wipes and paracetamol and stop stressing, honestly, it's fine.

SongforSal · 13/12/2018 17:10

I sat my DD down and told her all about my first period (it was a funny story) she laughed, asked her a few questions about what she thinks and is feeling about hers, talked about hygiene etc, got her a massive bar of chocolate and told her it would probably only last a few days, and may be irregular for months or years until her hormones settle.

Topofthehills · 13/12/2018 17:12

I also felt tall/out of place at that age. I dealt with it ok - but it was a big revelation when I got to about age 12/13 and other people were EXCITED to get their first period. Lol.

Let her know that the time will pass quickly, and soon the girls around her will be excited to be "growing up" like her, even if some of them don't understand right now.

Branleuse · 13/12/2018 17:13

there are sanitary towels without wings. I absolutely hate wings on towels. Bodyform definitly do some without and I find them comfy.

Original poster
Dollygirl2008 · 13/12/2018 17:16

You are all amazing - thank you so much.

I'm quite an anxious person, but you have all really, really helped. Every now and again I need bringing back to reality! It doesn't help that her two closest friends are possibly the youngest and tiniest in the class and are worlds away from her physically!!!!!!

Thanks again for your advice and kind words x

OP posts:
Deeedeeee · 13/12/2018 17:20

It's a lot to deal with especially if she's the first one of her friends. Is there someone she can go to at school if she needs to? I'd mention it to a teacher or TA who she is comfortable with.

Original poster
Dollygirl2008 · 13/12/2018 17:24

I did suggest that I had a quiet word with her teacher (female) but she was horrified by the thought. I think I'll see how we go over the next few days, but yes, I think that's a good idea

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 13/12/2018 17:29

Chilren of ten do not usually believe in Fr Christmas. I'd be more worried about that than the periods. Quite a few kids start periods at ten though it is young, most are more like 13.

What sort of kid believes the Santa myth at ten! I'd have thought five or six was the maximum though I never taught mine about it

Bramrang · 13/12/2018 17:29

Oh bless her. I started my periods just before my 10th birthday and had a similar experience of being one of if not the first at school and feeling very different. Didn't help for me that my best friend didn't start hers until she was almost 15, so we (Not intentionally!) made each other feel very abnormal for about 5 years.

As a PP suggested, I used to wear two pairs of pants, both so the girls in the changing rooms didn't know and for the extra feeling of protection/security. I ended up moving to tampons fairly quickly as I hated the idea people could see the pads and I was a gymnast and swimmer - found them much easier/more practical/gave me more freedom. You can get organic ones now too. There's a lot of reluctance to give young girls tampons but they were great for me. Something to think about.

dementedpixie · 13/12/2018 17:36

Of course some 10 year olds still believe in Santa/F Christmas

KittensAndChristmasCake · 13/12/2018 17:46

What sort of kid believes the Santa myth at ten! I'd have thought five or six was the maximum

Rude! And you'd have thought wrong, plenty of 10 year olds still believe. What's the rush with wanting them to grow up so quickly?

Hope she's ok, OP, she'll get used to it really quickly, it'll be fine 🌸 Do speak to the teacher though.

Original poster
Dollygirl2008 · 13/12/2018 17:52

Thank you all - so helpful.

As for the Father Christmas comment, absolutely loads of 10 year olds believe. I feel rather sorry for children who have never had the opportunity or option to believe

OP posts:
bellinisurge · 13/12/2018 17:57

My dd believed in Santa at 10. She's just started secondary and I had to break it to her.
I'm on period watch too.
I have a lillets teen set. And some period pants. Also looking into reusables to make customised ones.
Precious Stars on YouTube is a brilliant resource. Check it out first. Thoroughly no nonsense.

ShowOfHands · 13/12/2018 17:57

My dd was the same age and took it entirely in her stride. She was by no means the first either. Three other friends started in y6 as well. Loads of 10yo DC believe in Father Christmas too. I find the idea that you should worry about it utterly risible.

Deeedeeee · 13/12/2018 18:19

By the end of year 6 I was tall (I haven't grown since) and my figure was also fully developed. I looked a lot older than i was. Although I didn't start my periods until I was 12, I remember feeling so out of place compared to my friends. I was still very young on the inside, still playing with my dolls house etc. I got really self conscious because there were tactless comments (more from adults, not my peers) and by the time I was 12 inappropriate attention from men who assumed I was older. It was a relief when everyone else caught up!!