Does anyone read their child's text messages

[Icantfindausername]

Hi
I check my daughters text messages every few days just to make sure no bullying or anything going on (she's 12) does anyone else do this and do you ever read things which are difficult to deal with? x

[lljkk]

I wrote a stupid long post what I think I do right. It was basically all about listening whenever they are willing to talk (which I hate at 11pm but I still try to listen)... giving them good tools for making good decisions: believe they deserve the best, believe that hurting themselves or other people is wrong, facing consequences & taking responsibility, facing consequences, making amends.. plus can't control the world.

If DC got nasty texts: what I hope is that if that happens they will know they can share with me & I won't fly off the handle & ring the other parents to harangue... instead I'll encourage DC to block & find better friends: b/c they deserve better & they don't need unpleasant people in their lives.

If they looked at porn which I'd rather they didn't... frankly it gets shared on the bus in groups for anyone interested (was magazines & VCR tapes in my day). Is me looking thru their phone history really gonna stop that?

Political grooming: I screwed up. 19yo DS was groomed by the alt-right. I can only say it's a work in progress & at least we still talk, he does listen to my views. He listened most when I said that alt-right is a set of views with zero compassion for other people's different circumstances. DS is financially independent, over-responsible and still has a soft touch for animals. Cares profoundly about doing the right thing. Not all bad.

[FishCanFly]

yes. Digital communication isn't a private matter. Things get out of hand - and it can be a matter of a police investigation.

[EvaHarknessRose]

I reserve the right to and the recipients parent could well read it anyway - don't send a message you wouldn't be happy justifying in the head teachers office. (My dds therefore hardly contribute to the group chats they are on!)

[OneOfOurOwn]

Yes. Its left in the living room to charge and I will scroll through some times. He knows that I do it.