Just Hormones? 11yr old DD

[T2705]

Hi all,

My DD turned 11 in August and started secondary school in September. She has always been quite high maintenance, last time I went to the GP and was referred I was told she just had "low self esteem". They also seem to blame everything on the fact that I separated from her dad 3 years ago, even though he was never around and actually she has ALWAYS been like this.

I am just struggling with her at the moment and don't really know what to do. There seems to be no let up, her attitude towards everyone at home is awful, if she asks for something and is told no she shouts, screams and storms off to her room without even waiting for you to finish explaining why she might not be able to do/have that at the moment. She is constantly feeling hard done by and seems to actually go out of her way to put herself in situations to justify this feeling!

She does things (hurts DS, takes stuff shes not supposed to etc) and then flat out denies doing it - even if I have watched her do it, and is so convincing that sometimes I have wondered if I am the one going mad! She seems to even convince herself of her innocence and acts like this is yet another way that I am being horrible to her. This also can mean that something totally minor (i.e. can you put your shoes away ) gets turned into a huge issue.

Anyone else have anything like this?! Any advice or just sympathy would be lovely!!

Have some sympathy. I have an 11yr old DD too (who is an angel by comparison).
Hormones are an issue at this age, but I don't think can be held accountable for all poor behaviours.
Personality varies and while my DD is probably not the easiest child ever, we have a good positive relationship.
Why does your DD feel so hard done by? Self esteem is really important (at all ages) and can take a battering at this age.
I really don't tolerate my DD speaking rudely to me, but I'm also mindful how I speak to her. Do you get the time to do nice things together?

Yiu can have my total sympathy T. My DD is almost exactly the same age and is being a little high maintenance at the moment. The other night there was one drama after another, then she moaned that she was hungry and tea was late. I had to explain, with a smile, all the things I’d had to sort out with her, instead of being in the kitchen cooking for her!

I find helps

You say what she does. How have you tried to manage this behaviour? Sounds exhausting.

I find my DD always calms down when I add about 20ml of nightnurse into her cereal every morning. Works a treat! To excuse for the greenish colour of the milk we call it goblin juice, makes breakfast such fun! After the initial struggle with extreme drowsiness, SO and I have found that a little perks her right up to take on the day, her school reports have improved too! Best of luck, Kathyjean

My 10 year old daughter is extremely high maintenance right now. Sometimes she can't sleep, often complaining about headaches, has no self esteem, gets really stressed about things like messy house, what her brothers are doing etc. she seems better when I Spend a lot of time with her, but she stressing me out so much that I have to force myself to spend time with her, up till know we have had a really good relationship. Some people tell me it is just hormones but I am really beginning to wonder. Anybody know of anything natural I can give her to relax?

@4kidshelp rescue remedy? X