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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

11 y.o. girl worrying about workload at new school

3 replies

muppetsmum · 23/09/2018 23:12

Hi, my 11 y.o. girl has just started at an independent girls' senior school which is competitive to get into - not a hot-house but has an attitude of expecting them to throw themselves into school work and clubs etc. She's always had a bit of a tendency to worry about things, nothing too serious, but a bit of a perfectionist and certainly likes to do things to the best of her ability. She now has a longer day going by bus and has started a couple of after school clubs which she is passionate about (and everyone seems to do at least a couple). She got more homework over the weekend than we were expecting and spent much more time on it than I was happy with. She told me at bedtime tonight that she can't stop worrying about whether she will be able to cope with the workload and whether she has done her homework well enough. Academically she should be fine - she got a firm place and the school is known for not taking chances on girls not being up to coping there. I know it's really early days and we haven't settled into a routine yet - and she understands this too. I just wondered whether anybody has experienced anything similar and has any advice or suggestions for strategies for us, or books for me or her to read which might help? Thanks!

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 24/09/2018 00:40

In the first place I would suggest a meeting with you and her form teacher to discuss your DD's worries. You can go with or without DD but it might help DD to hear from her teacher that they have confidence in her.

It sounds like the start of anxiety OP which needs to be nipped in the bud as it can grow and grow until the child is quite debilitated.

Not trying to scare you at all....just being honest. I have a DD prone to anxiety and we've had to work quite hard to help her.

Perhaps a chart with a weekly planner for her homework might help her...if she can see what's to be done in advance and visually, then she might feel calmer as things get ticked off.

Other things which help is avoiding late nights and getting plenty of fresh air and out and about amongst trees and green in general.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 26/09/2018 21:28

So sorry to hear that your DD is suffering OP. I think Ajas has sone very goad advice. I don’t know if this book would help at all?

Seeline · 26/09/2018 21:36

Does she have a homework timetable that tells her what subjects she should get each day and how long she should spend on each?

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