How to get them to talk

[Icantfindausername]

My dd sometimes comes home in a mood and won't tell me what's happened.
I just ask how her day was and she says fine and I leave it nothing. Later I might ask if anything happened I get nothing, I know something has. I read her phone (she was in bed) and a message to her friends asked if they were still friends after what happened on Friday but I've no idea what that is. I don't want to say I saw her phone do can't mention that but she just don't open up.
Any ideas?

I always ask my teens the following:-

What was your best thing about today?
What was your worst thing about today?
What did hardest thing about today?

I find this gets them to open up.

We also have an open phone policy where I can take their phone at any point and check it. If I need to I will question what I have seen.

Good luck.

She knows I check her phone but I know she then deletes messages so I stopped asking her about them as I thought she might stop deleting things then. I've told her not to delete but I know she definitely does x

I don't think you can get them talk. My Dd12 can very much be like this too. I guess they are at an age where we have to let them sort it out. I like to think that if they are really struggling they will eventually come to us for advice. Its hard not be able to know what's going on with them all the time. Xxx

Agree with Karid. Absolutely the hardest part of parenting. DS 15 never opened up although is getting better now. Atm dd 12 still tells me a bit but not when things get rough. I find a combination of phone checks, chats over lunches out/drives and trying (so so hard) to step back and let them sort out issues works. Also telling them you have faith in them but if they do need any advice you’re there.

No answer I'm afraid. Dd14 just like this. She is suffering with some anxiety at the moment but says she prefers to talk to other people rather than me. That makes me sad, but I am glad she is at least talking to someone. I guess it's normal for this age. Looking back I don't think I spoke to my mum much as a teenager, but now she's one of my go to people.

What always works with my 11 year old DS is we take the dog for a walk and I talk about my day at work, and random other stuff then just go quiet, after a bit of silence I find he starts telling me things he wouldnt do if we were at home or if I asked him directly.. Talking in the car is another good one. I find the no eye contact helps.

Thanks I like them tips. The dog walk is a really good one! xx