Mumsnet Logo
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Preteens

just kids? or bullying/manipulation? I should speak to teacher shouldnt I?

5 replies

purple8pig · 16/09/2018 19:17

sorry if a bit long winded im just trying to summarise but give enough detail


dd who is 10 has had issues with a girl in her class "L" on and off for a while, although she's shy dd can usually stick up her herself (eg they say you stink she will say, well you're a pig) but would never call anyone anything unless they were being horrible.

Recently things have seemed worse, trivial to an adult maybe but to a pre teen full of hormones this is really taking its toll. small things like saying she would bring an extra pack of sweets to school for all the girls, but not dd, calls dds best friend over and says the other girls can come and listen to what she's saying, but not my dd. She asked what sweet dd would like and when she told her, L said well you can only have one if you agree to be my best friend (they're 10 and 11! and L has always gone out of her way to piss off dd and slag her off.


The main thing that has got me is last week L asked dd if she likes needles. dd said yes (thinking for sewing) and L ran off shouting to other kids "dd" likes needles, she likes drugs! (again, only small to us but she was a bit upset. dd asked her next day why she said that and L said she hadn't said anything (dd and others heard her)


A dinner lady on Friday pulled dd to one side and said L tells me you have been saying mean things to her and telling people she takes drugs. dd was really upset about this as she is never told off by teachers and she was in tears.

this evening (not a school incident) dd was playing out with 2 friends and L was out too (lives on next street) L said, I'm going to speak to the teachers about something tomorrow, then mouthed to the other girls "her" and pointed to dd.


dd said 'you can do because my mum and dad know you've been bullying me . L said in a faux sweet voice (according to dd) 'I have no memory of such a thing, you must have fallen and hit youre head really hard to think something like that, are you ok?'


dd doesn't want to play out, even when one of her other friends came round tonight after dinner she ran out of the room and whispered tell her im in the shower. she is dreading going to school tomorrow as it feels like theres something everyday, even if something small. she usually loves school.


im prepared to hear she has been doing something and is just as bad but im not a "my dd can do no wrong" parent but I really don't think this is warranted.


will her teacher just think its 'just girls/playground antics? I feel really sad for her but aware I may well be being precious??

OP posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

purple8pig · 16/09/2018 19:28

Also I realise it would be better if dd told the teacher at the time of incidents, but she doesn't like to tell over people and feels like she sould just deal with it.

I get the impression from Ls parents that she is a good girl and is nice so not sure if/ when I speak to them it will be well received (I could be completely wrong though)

OP posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/09/2018 21:43

Please don’t speak to the parents, it can never end well. If she was mine I’d be at the school as soon as it opened in the morning asking to talk to the teacher. Let DD know that although she doesn’t want you to, you are doing it out of love, it’s your job to protect her.

Have a read of the school’s anti-bullying policy too. It should be on their website. It might help to print it off and take that into school along with a list of all the incidents.

Please
or
to access all these features

purple8pig · 16/09/2018 22:06

Thank you, no I won't speak to the parents, not unless as a last resort if school don't deal with it. I think I just wanted reassurance that I'm not over reacting.

OP posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

purple8pig · 16/09/2018 22:07

And good idea about the bullying policy I will have a read of it now

OP posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

JiltedJohnsJulie · 17/09/2018 07:01

If the school don’t deal with it talk to the Governors and or the LEA. You’d be surprised how quickly school can deal with these things once you bring it to the LEA’s attention Grin

Talking to the parents really isn’t a good idea Smile

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?