Have I let ds down?

[Seniorschoolmum]

First day back at school, the arrangements for Afterschool club fell through and I had to leave work to collect ds (10).
As we left school I could hear children playing so I drove round the corner to the Rec. and there were a group of ds class mates. I offered to work in the car so Ds could be with them but he said he’d rather go home and be on his own.
I’ve never been life and soul of the party, I’m hopeless in social situations but have come to terms with that over the years and normally just work & keep away from other people.
But now I’m worried I’ve somehow made ds think that is normal, not supported him in having lots of friends somehow.
I am really worried but ds just says he’d rather be on his own. I don’t know what to do or how to help.

Any suggestions?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Does he need help OP? Has he said he’s unhappy?

[Seniorschoolmum]

No but if his class mates are all having a good time, the sun is out and he has no homework, why wouldn’t he want to join in?
A couple of times last term he said that he had no friends and he hated school, but at the time, I thought it was his way of saying he didn’t want to put down his computer game and go to school.
I always found that stuff difficult and I would give anything for him not to feel the way I did. I just don’t know how to help.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

It’s absolutely fine for him not to want to join in, not everyone does. If he’s saying he doesn’t like school and has no friends, I’d maybe talk to his teacher about how he is at school and if there’s anything you can do to encourage friendships.

Does he do much outside of school? Do you think he’d enjoy a quiet hobby like coding club or chess club?

[Seniorschoolmum]

He does a couple of sports sessions outside school but has chosen non-team sports which is fine.
Coding club is a good idea, thanks. I am reluctant to let him play online versions of things like Fortnite or Minecraft yet. He is quite young for his age.
One problem is he thinks football is boring but all the other boys are football mad and I think he gets isolated by that.
He has a Pgl trip in 10 days and he seems to be looking forward to it. Maybe I am worrying unnecessarily.