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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Does DDs best friend have ADHD?

3 replies

NotMondayAgain · 02/07/2018 16:58

DD has a 'best friend' who she is starting to dislike greatly. The friend was quite lonely before they met and has no other friends. DD is not in the popular gang but has quite a few close friends.

In recent months DD's told me BFF is getting on her nerves.
BFF seems to actively avoid making other friends except for DD.she told DD She only wants to be friends with her. She follows DD around the playground when she is with other friends but won't join in.
They went on a residential. BFF left used knickers and wet towels on the other girls beds every day but won't apologise. DD says she constantly loses things, fiddles, can't get ready in time for anything, won't follow instructions (She looks blankly back at the teacher then walks off).
However she us very quiet, not chatty. Not typical ADHD as I understand it (although I don't know a lot about it, just guessing)

I feel worried for BFF and DD as I think this friendship will break up and BFF will be distraught. Or if her behaviour continues but they stay friends, DD feels secondary will be ruined for her.
What should I advise DD? Should she be more understanding to BFF? Ask her about her behaviour even?Thanks

OP posts:
BackforGood · 02/07/2018 22:00

Nothing you have described sounds like ADHD to me, however, that isn't really important to you - I'd have thought you need to give your dd strategies for dealing with what sounds like a bit of an oppressive friendship from this girl.

citychick · 03/07/2018 13:15

To me it sounds like anxiety that shows up with demand avoidance, controlling behaviour and a lack of awareness or unwillingness to accept boundaries.

Tricky one. Can you speak to the teacher? Does the school have a councillor facility?

Sounds like this girl needs guidance.

Does your DD explain to the friend she doesn't like this howdy behaviour?

citychick · 03/07/2018 13:16

Sorry...goady behaviour.

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