High school transition time
Lancashirelassy · 06/06/2018 09:16
I’ve never posted on anything like this before but I would really appreciate some impartial advice. My daughter is coming to the end of year 6 and is preparing for transition to high school. She had to fill a form to select some friends who she would like to be with. One of the friends is someone who has not always been a positive friendship but she has known her for a long time. A friend of mine has suggested that I contact school and request that they aren’t in the same form (to avoid my stress) but I’m worried that I’ll be considered interfering. Should I encourage a fresh start by getting in touch with school or (suck it up) and leave her to make her own way?
BlueChampagne · 06/06/2018 13:13
Might it be worth sitting down with your daughter and discuss why she put this person's name down, and whether she is sure she wants them on the list? She may not be aware of potential ramifications, and just listed people she knows who are going to the same school. If she has second thoughts, definitely contact the school.
JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/06/2018 18:46
Yes, I’d definitely talk to her about it too. She may just not realise that they mean people they like being with rather than friends they’ve known the longest.
Lancashirelassy · 08/06/2018 07:14
Thank you for replying so quickly- I feel I need to add more detail,
My daughter is a strong character with familiar people but deep down she is a typical insecure preteen. Her friend is a bit of a drama queen and also wants to control things too so there are clashes from time to time. Her mum then contacts me rather than letting school deal with it which I find stressful (I suffer from anxiety). My daughter really likes this girl and if I do interfere (as my friend suggests) I feel that it’s more for my benefit than my daughters. I’m sure that she will make new friends but starting high school is stressful and having familiar people around does make it a bit easier. Also there are going to be dramas no matter who she chooses as a friend (that’s girls for you) and I’m going to have to learn to deal with that.
metalmum15 · 08/06/2018 07:22
I wouldn't worry too much, she may end up in a form with her, but that doesn't mean she will actually be in all her lessons, depending on their abilities they may be placed in different groups. Once they're in high school they can quite often have around 5 lessons a day, and each one with different children, so there's a good chance she will make new friends anyway over the next few months.
typoqueen · 12/07/2018 23:35
i have just done it, not been happy about a certain friend for the last few years, so i went to the senior school and ask for them to be separated, and they did :)
ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 12/07/2018 23:43
I've been through this with both dds!.dd1 managed to get her 3 good friends in her class.....then they all fell out, and it made it harder for her to make new friends, as everyone was in " groups" (She does now have a group of new friends, but it took a while!)
Dd2 had 1 friend who was in her class, but then at the last minute her parents pulled her to go to private school instead. It actually worked out better, as she had to talk to other girls in the class.
I guess im.saying talk to your dd. I can see that some of my dds friends aren't good for them long term,but I do bite my lip a lot, as they have to work done things out for themselves. Dd2 coped with the situation, although she really wasn't happy at first, but if it had been a situation i had actively created? Don't think c she would have forgiven mr, for the best or not
Lancashirelassy · 13/07/2018 07:50
Thanks for your support - I did decide to leave it and they are together. She’s had her transition day and made a couple of new friends already too. There’s going to be dramas no matter who she’s with I’m sure and I do need to learn bite my lip at times (doesn’t come easy to me) and let her make her own mistakes. Thanks again everyone 😊
ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 13/07/2018 07:54
Yeah, it's really hard those first couple of years at high school. I felt it was a big change, and you feel helpless! It was far easier stepping in to help when they were little. I feel I have been dealing with teenage angst for the last 3 years, but they are both getting there. Although when they finally get their friends sorted out it will no doubt be boys next.....
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