Daughter won't stop using my stuff

[Icantfindausername]

Help please!
My 12 year old daughter is driving me insane. She won't stop using my things - make up, perfume, toiletries. She's used all my £75 bottle of perfume I only wear on nights out ( and I don't have many) I went to use it last night and it was all gone, she's used and ruined a lot of my experience make up I've told her to stop using it calmly, then I've gone mad at her after like 3-4 times of asking nicely. I've bought her all the same type of make up but just cheaper version and not Estée Lauder, bobby brown etc just like number 7 or Rimmel etc as she's only just 12 and she still is using mine. Tonight I am furious as this morning I noticed 3 small circles of pink on my cream bedding, I didn't know what it was and then after her bath I saw 3 much bigger blobs of the pink again. I asked her what it was she said she didn't know. I said she better have a think and tell me as she was in serious trouble if she continued to deny it as I knew it was definitely her. She then brought my fake tan mousse into the bathroom and said it was that. She said she thought it was hair mousse (I don't believe her) and even if she did why would she do the same tonight?! I am so angry I've sent her to bed and said I am really upset about it.
I've told her to leave my things and if she does see something and she wants to know what it is then she only needs to ask and I'll explain it to her. Any ideas on how to deal with this? Thanks x

A list of chores for her to do to pay off all the things she has ruined?

And maybe something you can lock, to keep precious stuff in.

Remove all of your things from sight and lock them away (put a lock on your bedroom door?)
She knows fine she’s doing wrong - clearly she doesn’t give a monkeys otherwise she would stop doing it!

First of all I would take the money off her for the perfume! Stop providing pocket money and stop providing her with her own make up etc - it’s essentially rewarding her for stealing your things.

Remove any other privileges (phone/internet/treats/clubs etc)

She needs to see consequences for her actions and you need to follow through on it to stop her walking all over you.

She clearly doesn't respect you and had a very skewed sense of right and wrong. Just pack her off to boarding school, maybe they will know how to deal with her. Would be a shame if she turned out to be a theif/communist. But in all seriousness you have my sympathy, sounds like a right pain to deal with. Maybe take away everything you bought for her and put your things where she can't access them?

This ^
Do you have a lockable suitcase to store it in or a cupboard?

Hand all your stuff over to her now.Right now. It'll save you years of driving yourself crazy asking her to put it back properly , stop leaving lids off and disrespecting your property. Kiss goodbye to your razor, even though you brought her one ! Your towels , all your 20 towels. My it beggars belief moment was when she used My Toothbrush knowingly.
Sincere sympathies from one who was assertive, had a daughter that complied to everything until something changed ....the selfish years.
But within those years your lovely girl is there. You'll still have laughs. When my dd offered me a toasted bacon sandwich , I nearly fell off my chair, she did love me after all ! Mind you it took about 2 more years for another 🤣

@inashizzle when did it get better? She's driving me crackers. Does it get better. She's a lovely child and well behaved in school and at home apart from this part. Everyone says how long kind and thoughtful she is but she just drives me insane when it comes to my things.
Thanks for all your ideas and replies.
Am I alone in this or is it quite normal?

Start locking your bedroom door if she can't be trusted

IcantfindausernaneErmmm I'm currently missing my cocoa butter body lotion, nearly all my socks. I'm down to one makeup brush. Got back a blush this week though, lucky me. She can't get her mits on my mascara as I hide it at the back of cutlery drawer. I was like you years ago, fuming. Dp couldn't understand why I wouldn't lend her it. She has bucket loads herself.I had to say it'd be like someone using all your tools and not replacing . I could've driven myself stir crazy arguing but just get a bit crafty hiding your bits, and don't be so happy to run around facillitating every whim, switch off.

She's flipping 19!!! I figure when they have their own home / child.
My second dd is 12, and the make up thing is like a kardashian take off if I let her. So I have it all again. If anyone has sure fired,non loggerheads solution I'm still open to solutions too ;)

Does she have her own stuff?

My daughter can use whatever she wants of my things life’s too short to focus on material possessions it’s as mean imagine locking your room door that’s pure mean

Its not about not wanting to share ! I'd share with anyone, it's about never being able to have it when you need it coz they don't put back.

Eat her chocolate. That'll teach her.

My daughter can use whatever she wants of my things life’s too short to focus on material possessions it’s as mean imagine locking your room door that’s pure meaN
And her dd using all of stuff after being asked not too (even after being brought her own) is not mean?
She shouldn't have to lock her door, her dd should understand when op says no.
Op is also entitled to have her oen stuff to herself.
I would get a lockable case or lock your door.
You shouldnt have to but until your dd understands its your stuff you may have too.
I’d stop buying her more makeup too.

IME this is pretty standard. Just let it go (except for the very expensive products). She HAS to respect some boundaries.

Thanks all. I'm trying to keep calm and not make it a big issue but I just wish she would respect what I've asked when I've bought her all the same but cheaper versions! xx

Sounds like she lacks boundaries. Does she just help herself to her friends stuff?

I wounder how she’d feel if you just helped yourself to get stuff without asking? Maybe give her some of her own treatment.

Personally I don’t think it’s on. I would never of overstepped the mark and just helped myself to my mums stuff. I think kids are much more entitled now adays and it’s not always right.