Struggling emotionally...advice needed

[Karid1496]

Dd12 quite introvert, isn't out constantly but has a good group of friends at school. Seems happy in her own skin, few ups and downs but I'm putting that down to hormones. Has been like this for a good wee while and admit I do struggle at times but I'm usually pretty much OK with how she is.

However this weekend I have really struggled emotionally, I'm overthinking things and can't stop worrying about her socially. How do you deal with feeling like your child doesn't really get invited out alot? She's not the most popular girl at school but she gets along with most of the girls. I'm feeling like they only really invite her along randomly or that she is the one that instigates the meet up. Am I overthinking this and worrying unnecessarily, I'm scared she's going to be lonely.

How does she feel? Maybe have a chat with her, things might not be as bad as you think.

She seems happy enough in herself, doesn't appear to be fazed by it. Think it's me that struggling more than her. Xx

I'd stop worrying if she is happy. Make it clear that she can invite friends back if she wants to, and leave it at that.

Aww, I mean this kindly but it really sounds like you are worrying about nothing. She has some good friends, and one good friend is better than loads of acquaintances or people that young girls might just hang with just to feel 'popular', which can be a very transitory and fragile feeling anyhow.

If she seems happy then really try not to worry.

Mediumred i totally agree, it's me thats the worry wart, she seems to be sailing along nicely whereas I am constantly thinking that she is gonna end up lonely. I try to remind myself that Aslong as she's happy that's all that matters but every now and again I'll have a bit of a meltdown xxx

Oh you poor thing, of course we worry about our kids but this sounds much more about you than her, please try and not let your worries show to her. She sounds like a super lass and you have brought her up well so feel proud of her, and back her, and feel proud of and back yourself. Try to enjoy her and focus on the positives (plus bet you look back on this in a few years when she's out all the time and smile to yourself!)

I can totally relate. My 14yo is quiet and seems happier at home with us than out with friends. I have to continually remind myself that I was exactly the same at her age. I have a feeling that in a couple of years I'll probably have to book a time to see her 😊😊

How do you deal with feeling like your child doesn't really get invited out alot?

There isn't a lot you can do, to be honest. Part of parenting is worrying so some of it is natural, I guess. It's hard though. My daughter IS lonely at school and often walks around by herself.

Just this week a girl who my daughter thought she was close with in her class handed out birthday invites, nothing for dd.

We have had girls over for sleepovers - no return invites

same with "play dates" - no return invites

Dd is happy within herself, yes. But she does notice.

Differentnameforthis.....gosh, what a tough time for you and your daughter. I keep trying to remind myself that everyone has their tribe and sometimes it takes a while longer to find them. Hopefully your daughter finds her tribe soon. If only we had a crystal ball to see that things were gonna work out fine. Sometimes we just need some reassurance from other mums so big hugs to you xxxx

Thank you everyone for your lift. Sometimes the worry gets on top of you and its good to get some advice and reassurance from others. Thank you all xxx