Found porn on search history

[Icantfindausername]

Hi
My daughter is nearly 12 and has an iPhone. I check up on her messages and search history once a week or so and today I've found that she has seen some porn on utube. It was quite graphic and I was mortified she has seen this. Do I speak to her or leave it? Help!!!!
Thank you

Recent experience of this. Speak to her. I told her that I wasn't angry, it's natural to be curious but sex portrayed in porn is usually not healthy or representative of loving sex in a relationship. Neither is body shape. Also I would be periodically checking her phone as I want to protect her. You want to keep communication open, I'd probably be curious if it was around when I was younger. Nothing to be ashamed of but ultimately I am the adult and I don't want her to grow up with schewed ideas about sex should be like.

I think you should speak to her. Was she curious/egged on by her friends/sent a link by someone? I would want to know, not to make trouble for her friend(s) but to be sure she wasn’t being groomed.

The ‘porn kills love’ Facebook/website has some good resources.

We have a no phones overnight rule, as well as filters on the home internet & mobiles. I have a teen & a pre-teen, plus a younger child. They were younger than your dd the first time i found stuff on their tablets - so I know it’s a tough & upsetting lesson to learn.

Yes speak to her -

Explain that the sex shown in porn is fantasy and usually male fantasy at that. That it is unrealistic and can look disturbing. That sex in real life is different - or should be. That she never has to do and should never feel like she ought to do something becasue someone asks / pushes or she's seen it on screen.

That's what I would do (have done with younger DD but she's not seen anything yet as far as I know).

There is a child setting type thing in youtube, they can switch it of pretty easily though!

How do I bring it up? I don't want to say I've checked her search engine as she'll know to delete it in the future

Hmm.

Straighforward lie.

"My work friend / DH work friend found their son has been looking at stuff on the net and it reminded me to have a talk with you, I've been meaning to for a while..."

Great idea thank you! xx

good luck!

What was it? There's nothing hard-core or actual nudity on YouTube. They don't allow porn

I'm pretty sure YouTube doesn't allow porn... Maybe it was a different website.

She had googled a film and it had brought up a link to girl on girl porn which she must have clicked on and it was actually another site I thought it was utube but it wasn't

So you didn't see that she'd seen porn on YouTube? How do you know she'd seen porn then? The browser history would just have said YouTube anyways, not graphic porn or what the videos were

The browser history tells you what website she has looked at so I could see it on there.

Just clicked on this thread because my son (year 6) has just done similar. I’m not sure why BoobleMcB is so defensive of YouTube: we’ve had talks in school from the police who said that regardless of what YouTube’s policy around porn might be, so much material is uploaded minute by minute that it’s impossible for them to control or police it.

@SunnySomer my post isn't defensive of YouTube. It's calling out the bullshit and ridiculousness of the original post. Browser history might show YouTube but it doesn't show the specific videos that were watched. The OPs post makes no sense

Hmmm. When you type YouTube into my browser it comes up with a series of file extensions to do with strippers, sexy, naked (DS isn’t internet savvy enough yet to have worked out how to delete his browsing history).