Preteens
Help me with my teen
wiziliz · 30/03/2018 12:51
My Dd 13 is becoming hard work these days, thought it must be hormones, but last night she accused me for so many things. So far out relationship has been very great , we are like besties. Now she acts as if it is my responsibility to do and provide everything for her , and she has to just use and enjoy all the luxurious things from us and still complain how horrible parent I am. She reads alot of novels etc and my husband says she is implying everything she reads. We have set rules in our house, like tidy rooms, homework's, excercises, eating healthy etc etc. From last night's row I understand she doesn't want to follow them and be reminded , so she accuses me. How do I handle this.
Someone help Plssss.
Audree · 30/03/2018 13:52
I’ve read somewhere that you shouldn’t argue with a child over the age of two as they’ll probably win 
I have a 13 yo myself and I ignore plenty of eyerolling, whining and foot stomping.
I will however NOT tolerate abusive or rude language. If something must be done, I tell him: ds, this is not up for discussion. When he was little, he tried being rude and I just told him: ds, you hurt my feelings, I am very sad and hurt now. And just stopped doing things for him or with him for a while. Also, I asked for an apology. He hasn’t tried being rude again for years.
So what I would suggest is pick your battles. You ask her to clean her room and she complains? Ignore. She calls you a horrible mother? Tell her: I don’t deserve to be spoken to like this, I expect a SINCERE apology, until then I’m keeping your phone. She refuses to clean her room? You can refuse to wash her clothes (but I suggest to not nag her about it or make fun of her, otherwise she’ll rather wear dirty clothes forever than give in).
Find her currency and use it, but only for matters that are really important to you. Lower your standars if you can. Don’t argue.
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