Hi, I'm new to this board although am
an occasional poster on Relationships.
I'm posting on behalf of my BIL. It's a long story but in short, his ex-DW suffers from severe MH issues which resulted in their 2 DDs now only seeing their mum at a supervised contact centre as she had abused them both physically and emotionally. My BIL loves his ex very much but her MH issues are profound.
Their DDs are 6 and 10. The youngest has adjusted fairly well but suffers from separation anxiety. She is receiving support for this. Their eldest is seemingly ok but obviously misses her mum very much. She does understand why the situation is as it is and my DBIL does all he can to facilitate a continuing relationship for her with his exW.
However he was raised in an all male household with 3 DBs, apart from
his DM, who is now elderly and quite frail, and has no experience of teenage girls apart from my two and my DSister's DD. We live several hundred miles from him and his children so contact tends to be online with meet ups on major family occasions.
He is desperate to get it right for his 10 year old who is rapidly maturing. He has no desire to bring another woman into his and the DDs lives at the present time as they have gone through a very difficult few years. So he is looking for recommendations for good books on raising girls through the teen years who have had challenging circumstances in their childhood. He is particularly concerned that a social worker told him that such girls can suffer from low self-esteem, are more likely to self-harm and can embark on sexual relationships at a very young age. He knows that reading a book won't give him all the answers but a recommendation plus any online resources you can suggest would be really helpful.
Incidentally the eldest also has access to additional counselling and support but says she does not want it at present. DB will of course use this option if necessary; her school is pastorally fantastic and have done a great deal to support her too.
So any recommendations for would be much appreciated. Thank you.