When do you talk about puberty with your daughter?

[TillyC1984]

My daughter is 9, she’s a younger 9. She still likes her Sylvanian Family and playing with her ponies and I love that. These last couple of months she’s developed hair under her arm pits and is regularly getting pimples. Her emotions have been a little more volatile. She asked me why this is happening the other day when she was looking at her spots..... how much is enough information? Do I explain all of it? Is she too young to know?

My husband has asked me to keep this all quiet around our seven year old daughter

Why? Puberty isnt a deep dark secret. It’s normal. Talking about it normalises it. Making it a secret is making far too big a deal.

So I’ve gone for What’s happening to me and let’s talk x

Started at 3.corrected her notion that babies come out of the belly. They don't.
Continued at 9 as dd questioned me re her pubic hair.
I advised her that she'd get periods shortly.
All in an open way, said she could ask or tell me anything and its part of growing into a woman.
I'm possibly a little too honest. Oh well.

Completely agree that it should never be a secret, it's a natural thing to happen and will happen whether or not a father likes it.

I also can't remember the exact first time we discussed things with dd, we're a very open household in terms of getting changed etc, there is no shame in the naked body.

Also I spoke to her about her "private area being private" as I feel that is really important.

I think it’s the ‘sex’ bit that is terrifying
The thing is, if you don’t talk to them about it, other children at school will, and you don’t know what they are saying! My DS has also got a book about boys and puberty but didn’t want to read it or know about it. But when my youngest DD aged about 5 asked how are babies made, DS (then 8) piped up that someone at school had told him the mummy licks the daddy’s willy and that makes a baby!