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Preteens

Conscious parenting

5 replies

ssh1 · 12/01/2018 19:25

Hi there! Has anyone had much to do with conscious parenting? Specifically with preteen girls 😆 it's a great idea in theory and practice but I find it a bit exhausting at times! My 10 year old DD is a fab kid but has a fair bit of attitude on occasions. When I try the whole "that must be really hard for you etc etc" and other phrases where I'm trying to empathise..it just seems to wind her up more! Just wondered how other people find this method..curious really because I'm also a foster carer (- no child in placement at the moment) and so we get lots of training and they seem to be very keen on conscious parenting at the moment.
Any opinions?

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BackforGood · 12/01/2018 23:54

I haven't heard of it, but, with a lot of these theories, they tend to be something that people do without ever hearing it called a specific name.
Do you want to tell us what it entails, and then someone might know a bit more about it, even if they haven't come across the name.

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ILoveDolly · 15/01/2018 19:37

I read a lot about it but what occurs is she gets cross about me being reasonable when she was aiming for a fight Grin

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ILoveDolly · 15/01/2018 19:42

My daughter finds all the reasonable talk maddening. Yes it is great to talk through problems and also help them come to see reasonable solutions to mutual problems. However all the emphasis on not showing negative emotions/never shouting isn't totally realistic and I think sometimes the children want to see that we are human and can be hurt or cross. Occasionally if they are spoiling for a fight I don't choose my kind patient voice. Obviously this may be different in foster kids because they will have a possibly insecure background.
I have friends who apparently have followed conscious or positive parenting from day one, and perhaps they were doing it wrong, but their kids are absolute shits.....

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ssh1 · 15/01/2018 20:23

Glad it's not only my DD who gets mad when I use my calm "let's talk about this voice!" I find it easier just to disengage and leave the room until she's ready to talk to me in a civil manner. Definitely think it has its place with traumatised children who freak out at raised voices etc but for a fairly normal type of kid like my DD I'm finding it like any theory, use the parts of it that work then do my own thing for the other parts. It also seems to be against using consequences but that's the only thing that works with my DD when she gets too lippy. Thanks for all the replies!

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EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 17/01/2018 17:14

I have friends who apparently have followed conscious or positive parenting from day one, and perhaps they were doing it wrong, but their kids are absolute shits..... Grin Yeah, we all know at least one family like that ILove Smile

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