Almost 10yr DD accessed inappropriate net
Hulaballoo · 06/01/2018 19:34
My nearly 10yr DD accessed porn... Before I carry on... We've talked about sex, she knows how babies are made (I'm pregnant which she just found out so maybe sparked further curiosity) She's aware of E safety and knows to tell an adult or shut it down.... We have always had her searching online in a communal area. She's usually so trustworthy as we often check and nothing untoward. Today looking at all the history was the first time... She came across an advert on an app (innocent advert but directed to safari) and that led to adult links... She clicked and kept clicking 😢she didn't tell us... I did my walk around check and saw her looking. She's been on a number of different inappropriate links. I know I'm a bad parent for not shutting the internet down but originally she was researching for school and maybe I'm too naive. I looked at the history and there was a Google search on "how to have sex" and then various links on from that. I'm so totally heartbroken. She's so naive and innocent and that's now stripped away. I just can't stop crying. Her younger sister saw a couple of images but nothing really severe just scantily clad ladies no more than your local high street.... But my eldest...I'm shuddering. I feel so helpless and awful. We've had a long talk, both in tears, she knows she should have told us. I know it's curiosity at this age too but I don't know what to do for the best... Now there's no apps on iPads and I touches and safari disabled unless we're sat with her at the table for research.... Just feeling so down. Has anyone experienced this? Will she need counseling or anything I can do to help further?
Backinten · 06/01/2018 19:36
These things happen, kids are curious.
Why didn’t you have the internet filtered?
Hulaballoo · 06/01/2018 19:55
No excuse. Untrodden ground, we've always been around to supervise and honestly never thought knowing her and her age that she'd stray from what she said she'd do... Totally stupid I know and feel horrible. I didn't know there were filters..My DH has just said something about maybe b he can lock down by IP or something? Any filter recommendations?
Marvellousmarg · 06/01/2018 20:05
Talktalk do a home safe setting. It blocks adult sites. I imagine most providers offer this.
We have it on our wifi and tv is password protected. Also on their devices I have to put a code in to go online.
Lock it all down as much as you can. It s a pain having to input codes but it also means they know you're monitoring them.
Hulaballoo · 06/01/2018 20:13
Thank you we are with talk talk and I'll look into it. Will it get in n the way when b working from home...DH is in architecture and design and often has to search places etc like "Essex" Sussex etc... Would that be blocked?
PinkAvocado · 06/01/2018 20:17
It won’t affect things your husband needs for work but you can have different settings for different users. It’s frightening how quickly children can acces things but now she knows she can talk openly about it she may be more open if she sees anything else.
I think a chat with her asking if she saw anything that worries her etc may be a good idea.
Hulaballoo · 06/01/2018 20:21
That's a good idea, I've said that she can ask me anything, talk to me anytime about anything but never thought about anything "worrying" . I said that what she saw wasn't a real relationship, that they were actors and that it wasn't love how mummy and daddy and other couples may behave...I also mentioned about respecting their bodies etc she said she thought they were stupid for b posting online etc so I'm hoping some thing was learnt...I've definitely learned a big lesson. Just feel so bad now for all of us. 🇨🇴
PinkAvocado · 06/01/2018 20:38
I think you have done the right thing. Does her school also so Internet safety talks? You won’t have scared her away from talking to you about anything she sees which is the most important thing.
Hulaballoo · 06/01/2018 20:56
Her school does do internet safety and that's the worrying thing too... She could easily tell me what stress learned.. Shut down anything she knows she shouldn't be on like adverts etc and adult pictures, anything unsafe and to tell an adult. She didn't do it, so she made a bad choice. I think it shows that maybe E safety needs a bit more.... Like how you may feel if something bad happens ..?
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