Moving to a rural area

[Williams1986]

We've recently moved to a rural area after living in a town for ten years , we have a 7 year old and a 11 year old - its not that to far from everything 5-10 mins drive from where we used to live we do have buses passing my house the nearest village is walking distance ( but it hasn't a shop or anything) we moved here 6 months ago after a longggg time talking to the kids and talking to each other about what it would be like ( as I also moved to a rural area when I was my daughters age and knew how she would feel after a bit ) the reason we decided to move to where we are now my partner had a brilliant job offer which mean a much better life (money wise) but the main thing was getting the kids away where we used to live ( a lot of heroine addicts about - niddles on the ground, police raids offten ect)

I ask my kids often if they are happy and both say yes only problem I have at the moment is my 11 year old who iv noticed has lost some of her inderpendance since living here and I haven't a clue how she can get it back! I take her the town where we used to live often to meet up with her friends and I give her a pick up time - which normally turns into a argument - I also take her and pick her up from school ( which before moving here she'd walk to and from school ) as she won't go on the school bus - so I need advice on how to give her some independence I do feel she might be to young to catch the bus from here ( which is right outside my house) to where we used to live - or will she be okay?? Any advice would be great thank you !!

I'd go on the bus to the old place with the 11 year old a couple of times just to get her used to it. Go with her, have lunch together or something, or let her meet her mates while you shop, and then both get the bus home. And then let her get it alone after that if she is comfortable with it and has a phone to contact you if the bus doesn't turn up or something.

If it is only 5 -10 minutes drive to the old place, can she cycle it? Or are the roads too fast/dangerous? I totally understand if they are.

Any particular reason why she doesn't want to go on the school bus? Too rowdy or something? Has she even tried it? If not, I'd offer the going alone on the bus to town thing in exchange for trying the school bus at least. She can't claim that she wants independence on her terms when she wants her mum to ferry her around at all other times. It might help her meet other kids who live round your way.

Sounds like she hasn't made a lot of new friends more locally since the move? Any similar aged children around where you are now? Any activities going on close to home that she might be involved in? Lots of kids her age round here (rural area) are into horses and it takes up most of their time. Not suggesting that you buy her a horse, but would she be interested in riding lessons if there is a riding stable nearby that she could get to under her own steam?

Can you offer a sleepover with her old mates to start with? And then try to encourage friendships with kids who are closer?

Thank you for your reply there isn't much children in the village near by but she has made new friends from there that's in her year ( as she's started year 7 in sept) I have offered her to offer them over anytime so the option on there- and about horse riding since moving here I have started her with that hobbie ( as I was a horse rider at her age and it's the best hobbies to give at that age) so IV done that - might just extend the hobbies a bit and see if they do a day there where she can stay there for a few hours to do the a bit of stable management - taken care of the horse ect - and about the bus it's because about a year ago I took her and my son on a bus ride and there was someone drunk onit and now she says she doesn't want to go on the bus because of that and it scared her- I have reassured her that she's safe - she can't ride a bike to where we used to live as the roads aren't that safe - I might just join her on the bus ride That's a good idea- to show her its safe for her - thank you for your ideas!!

IV also suggested to my partner to take her into work with him for a few hours so she can earn a bit of money for her self ( as we live on the Poultry farm where he works) but there's also a lot of health and safety going on now so il have to with that?

Thanx again!!

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