So, I have an 8 yo and a 21 mo. The older child and I had the most incredible relationship before the baby arrived. I don't think we ever had one bad word or feeling between us. As soon as baba turned up everything changed. Add into the equation my PND which is now manifested in a silent depression I mainly try to ignore.
My 8 yo is still an amazing child, he is sweet and loving to his brother, intelligent, interesting, well behaved etc. But he irritates me like f&ck and I don't know what to do about it. He doesn't listen EVER.. I can speak quietly in his face, I can shout from another room - nothing. He can't sit still, he eats with his hands and stuffs his food into his mouth making more mess than the baby, he is constantly with his fingers up his nose, in his eyes/ears/mouth, constantly fiddling with his willy, farting, refusing to do a poo (wtf IS that?!), talking non stop about stuff, watching TV with such focus that he notices absolutely nothing that goes on around him. When he is with his little brother, instead of playing with him, he either yells at him all the time (Nooo get off it, Mumeeeeee he's got my spinner/beyblade/pencil case) or he is playing with him by pushing him over or something. I don't know where my sweet, calm little boy has gone.
I find my precious time with him now is time with me trying hard not to criticize him all the time, or staying calm and smiling at him - when inside all I want to do is say: STOP IT AND STAY STILL FOR A MOMENT!!!
Is it an age thing? Is it the baby? Or (as I suspect) is it me?