Who knew it would be so hard

[Karid1496]

I have posted a couple of times before about this looking for reassurances but tonight I'm at an all time low when it comes to dd11.

She is the quietly confident girl who is happy to spend time on her own, has a good group of friends but doesn't need to be with them all the time. While I know in my heart of hearts she is perfectly normal, this is just her personality finding its feet, I can't help but constantly worry that she is lonely or going to end up lonely. To the point that im making myself sick. I also worry that I'm making the situation worse but constantly checking that everything is OK with her.

Feel like I cant stop myself.....like i just need to give myself a good slap to knock the stupid out of me!!

Do you have a problem with anxiety in general? Or is there something in your own background that makes you find this situation triggering? It sounds as if this is something that you need to deal with on your own account rather than something directly relevant to your dd.

I don't understand the problem? Being an introvert is completely normal and if you're an introvert spending time alone is healthy.

yes I do suffer from anxiety which is not helping me. I've always been a worrier and completely overthink things.

I agree, this is totally my problem. Dd11 is happy and healthy and content in who she is.

I on the other hand need to conquer my overthinking mind. I think I just reached a point tonight where I was worn out from unnecessary worrying and just needed to vent it out.

I always tell my kids a worry is better out in the open than bottled up, this is my way of giving myself a shake I suppose, haha xx

Worry is understandable, you want the best for your kids.

Can you put the worries in their place? Be kind to yourself when they come up - remind yourself that you're doing really well, she's happy and confident.

What Stellato said: you have clearly done a great job not projecting your anxiety onto your dd. Anxiety is like a beast; it lies waiting for opportunities to pounce on you. But just acknowledging that that is what it is should be a help.

Thanks ladies, I think last night I hit rock bottom and just needed to let the stress of my unnecessary worrying out. My biggest fear is that I project my worries onto my girls.

Its a new day and week and I'm going for positive thinking today and will push those silly worries from my mind. Or at least try, haha xx

Hi Karid,

I just wanted to say that I can relate to what you write. My dd (11) starts a new school today and above everything else, I am hoping that she makes some lovely friends. It stems from my own anxiety/friendship issues and also the fact that I was bullied pretty badly/ostracized at her age - really trying not to let it show but eager to do all I can to encourage friendships etc.

Treemonkey76, it's such a hard time and not just for the kids. I think I have found it quite hard as I'm so used to my dd always telling me what's going on and needing me to help guide the right path but this seems to be the age where they do most of it on their own.

Looking back at how we were at that age and having to see our kids go through it or try to navigate through it is hard. All we can do is make sure that we are there for them when they come to us.

Its just nice sometimes to get an outside opinion to reassure yourself you're doing OK. Xx