Aspergers diagnosis or Not?

[Busymummy50]

My 9 year old son was late to talk, started talking at 3. Always been a moaner rather express his unhappiness verbally and calmly.

He has a set of friends since reception class but seems to be a little left out at times as socially he seems to make friends ok but can sometimes find socialising a little bit difficult. Well, that's me guessing as he sometimes looks a bit awkward or be the one who stands on the edge of the group while the others chat.

He is often quite moody and sometimes comes across a bit rude. He doesn't seem to understand people's facial expressions or body language and takes everything literally the way it is said. For example if we say wait a minute, he will wait an actual minute then come straight back. He doesn't seem to care about others feelings, it's like only he matters. While my partner was talking to someone, he asked for him to do something and my partner asked him to wait a second and let him finish talking but he said "come on go now" and the person my partner was taking to had to tell my son "I'm just taking to your dad for a minute", in which my son replied "I know".

Lastly, when he speaks to people he doesn't know well, he finds it uncomfortable to make eye contact.

Some of these signs could be aspergers while some I am thinking is he just spoilt?

He was the only child on both sides of the family for 5 years until our 2nd child was born. He was always used to getting his way with family members as all was very close by. In the last 2 years or so, he has been having to share and get used to his sibling getting attention too so there is lots of teasing of the sibling going on.

In a few years time it will be time for secondary school and although he's doing fine at juniors, I am concerned how he will cope socially at secondary. He is very independent and when he format want to do something, he doesn't care how others feel and sometimes can come across a but offensive to others. Like asking a friend, "why is your mouth so big?" He didn't see that it could make someone feel unhappy. Sometimes he says things that are inappropriate Like "bye mum, I might not ever see you again" when going out and saying bye. Or joke about things like "oh I have diabetes". I find myself constantly explaining to him why these are inappropriate. Also he format respect others personal space. He would throw something on his siblings head or lick my face or play water fight and shoot people in their face, just seems like a lack of respect for others but he thinks it's fun and I have to keep reminding him that fun to him may not be fun for others and that he need a to think before he doesn something!

My dilemma is , is it worth getting a Diagnosis? If he hasn't got aspergers or he has then at least we know. Will secondary schools support children if they had issues but not diagnosed? Has anyone had experienced on having their kids diagnosed or has anyone chose not to and what was the outcome?

Academically my son is doing ok and teachers say he is able but sometimes lacking focus. I am really stuck on whether we should try to get a diagnosis or not. He is not a very confident child although sometimes he comes across too confident and I'm worried getting him diagnosed may make him think something is wrong with him and make him unhappy about himself.

Has anyones kids had issues with eye contact and expressions/body language and respect for others issues around this age but ended up not having aspergers and fine when they got older?

Sorry so long!

[EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic]

Sorry you've had no replies to this @Busymummy50. Have you decided what to do yet?

It might be worth posting in Special Needs to get some more responses