DD 9 "friends"

[Mumsybea]

Hi all. This is my first post on here. My dd is really good friends with a girl at school, we'll call her X. X is best friends with a girl dd is also friends with( lets call her Y). So dd played out today with x and asked if they could walk to school together on the first day since dd didn't want to walk on her own. X says she has to ask y because they are going to be walking together. Dd later messages her on her iPad asking about walking. She said she can't because she is going round y's. Dd was sad and asked why she couldn't join them, and told her she felt left out. X kept telling dd that her and y are "bffs" and that dd shouldn't feel left out. I am stuck on what to do. Dd is worried she'll be alone in classes ( her friends are in the next class).

Distract your dd and try not to get involved too much

I think you've already taught your child to be generous, kind spirited and friendly but the bff situation is very common and sometimes this leads to children feeling some comfort from it. You can only continue to teach your child that it's good to be friends with many children and eventually she may be lucky to find a group of children she likes. Unfortunately dealing with the feeling of exclusion is part of growing up and if you can help her deal with it without feeling devastated and retaining the belief it's good to be friends with lots of people then I feel you are being the best parent you can be. Sorry your daughter is feeling sad and it is awful but I think will pass and hopefully get better.

She seems much better about it now. She has got a nice group of friends but they are in a different class to her so dd only sees them at break and lunch time. Thank you for your suggestions

That's good I think we sometimes feel things more for our children but they probably forget about it very quickly and as parents we may still worry for them.