Preteens
12 year old with girlfriend
Patcho1 · 06/08/2017 12:59
My 12 year old son has had a girlfriend for a few weeks now, all seemingly innocent and just kids being kids... I thought.
Last night he was showing me pictures on his phone of him and a couple of mates at the park when he came across a picture of his girlfriend who he quickly scrolled past. From briefly seeing this it looked as thou she was posing (not in a way you would expect a child to, she too is 12) I asked my son if I could see the picture and he said he had now deleted it.
When my son was in bed I was still feeling uncomfortable about the situation so I went through his phone. He had deleted the picture so I can not be sure, also there were no other pictures like this.
I checked his texts between him and her and some of it shocked me (adult type conversations) for example
Him - can't wait to see you baby xx
Her - you too darling. I love you xx
Him - I love you too and can't wait to kiss you xxx
Should I be concerned? I'm in two minds whether to discuss it with him because I know he will be upset I've invaded his privacy in this way.
Patcho1 · 06/08/2017 18:07
Any opinions/advice would be greatly appreciated please
IdentifiesAsASloth · 06/08/2017 18:09
I would definitely start discussing safe sex, consent etc. You can make it a general thing rather than a 'now you have a girlfriend' thing.
Tbh I'd also buy him some condoms.
fatfingeredfran · 06/08/2017 18:14
Not sure that I'd buy a 12 year old condoms 
that might send the message that you are encouraging sex, but definitely have he conversations about consent. Consent isn't just about P in V sex, also kissing, touching etc. And I'd also bring up sexting and the implications of sending/sharing photos.
While that chat sounds grown up it doesn't sound sexual, and you didn't mention the girl was naked or anything in the pic so I'm assuming it wasn't a sexual picture?
Ditsy1980 · 06/08/2017 18:23
The messages don't sound too bad, they're not sexual and from when I worked in a school it was common for the kids in relationships to say I love you quickly.
The photo sounds more worrying. But again, depends on how she was clothed etc.
Definitely time to have a chat about the implications and dangers of sexting and sharing photos though, before it progresses.
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